While aggressive behavior such as hitting, biting and pushing in toddlers is unpleasant and sometimes embarrassing, it's also completely normal. Most toddlers are naturally aggressive as they test their boundaries to see what is and isn't acceptable. Still, it's important that you set clear boundaries and discipline your toddler so her aggression doesn't hurt other children. By letting your toddler know that aggression is inappropriate, she'll soon learn other ways to explore and express herself.
Causes
Your toddler is learning new things about society, behavior and reactions at a rapid rate. When he pinches another child, he likely isn't looking to hurt but rather is experimenting with the type of reactions he achieves. The same goes for hitting and biting. Not naturally aggressive behaviors, your toddler uses the sensation of touch and seemingly aggressive behavior to learn more about the world around him, as well as showing his independence and testing his disciplinary boundaries of what is and isn't OK.
Types
Types of aggression, such as tantrums and yelling, don't necessarily merit swift discipline. As long as your toddler's aggression isn't hurting another child, it's possible to ignore the behavior to avoid giving attention for unacceptable behavior. If the aggression involves hurting someone else, such as hitting, pinching, biting, kicking or neglecting to share, it's important that you step in to teach your toddler that hurting others is unacceptable.
Discipline
If you notice your toddler displaying aggression toward another child or person, remove her from the situation immediately. Tell your toddler firmly that it's not OK to bite, hit, kick or hurt others. If possible, place your toddler in a quiet, isolated and safe area for two to three minutes to calm down before allowing her to resume play. Be consistent in your discipline, or you risk confusing your child into thinking that aggression toward others is sometimes acceptable. Whenever possible, offer attention to the victim so your toddler sees that hurting others results in a temporary withdrawal of your attention.
Prevention
When it comes to toddler aggression, complete prevention is often the best practice, because it stops your toddler from hurting others. Watch for aggression triggers, such as being in large groups, playing with certain toys or noisy settings. Watch for tension in your toddler and remove him to a quieter area for direct attention to stop an aggressive environment. Remind your toddler that he's not allowed to hit or bite before allowing him to resume playing. Provide your toddler with other outlets for exploratory play, such as physical activity, sensory play and outdoor activity so he's less likely to act out toward other children.
