Toddlers and preschoolers are notorious for sharing difficulties. Because of the way a child develops in his social abilities and the type of play he enjoys, interacting with another child during play often results in squabbles. Even when playing with a good friend, your child lacks basic impulse control, leading him to take toys from others and show reluctance to share his own things. Promote sharing to ensure your child develops socially while learning how to interact with other kids.
Step 1
Play games that require turn-taking to prepare your child for playing with other children. In doing so, your child learns the importance of fairness and play as well as learning that she gets a turn eventually when she's patient. Make the idea of sharing fun by showing enthusiasm for taking turns.
Step 2
Arrange for play dates based upon your child's social development. Starting as a baby, your child progresses from independent play to parallel play with other children, finally progressing to associative and cooperative play. Unfortunately, beginning associative play also leads to bickering over toys because children are not yet playing in a cooperative fashion. If you know your child struggles with large groups, plan associative play with just one or two friends to limit the number of altercations.
Step 3
Prepare your child with reminders before he begins playing with another child. If you're hosting a friend at your home, your child's concerns may range from another child ruining his toys to the friend taking his toys home. Assure your child's toys still belong to him so it's OK to let a friend play with them as well. Issue the same reminders frequently during the play date.
Step 4
Supervise your child when she plays with others. This gives you a better sense of how she reacts to conflict and gives you the power to step in as necessary. Having supervision also gives your child the power to come and talk to you rather than arguing with another child or trying to take back a toy herself.
Step 5
Step in immediately when you notice your child taking a toy from a friend. This sends a clear message that it's never acceptable. When you remove the toy, hand it back to the friend and remind your child he needs to share. Be firm and consistent when reprimanding your child.
Step 6
Remove the toy in question if the children continue to squabble or your child continues to steal the toy. Say loudly to the friend, "I'm sorry, but Abby can't play nicely with this toy so I have to put it away." This reprimands your child without speaking directly to her, while still explaining to the friend as to why the toy is being removed.
