Schoolyard teasing often seems harmless to some people, but the affected children know that name calling and bullying are hurtful and detrimental. For the 17 percent of students who reported being bullied on a regular basis to a Clemson University survey, regular teasing attacks their self-esteem, causes fear, and promotes a negative social experience. If your child is on the receiving end of teasing from peers, give her the tools to deal with the teasing or find help when she's being harassed.
Step 1
Take your child's claims of teasing very seriously. While you may have heard the childhood mantra that "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me," name-calling and teasing are extremely isolating and painful for children. Reassure your child that teasing isn't OK and that the other child did something unacceptable.
Step 2
Ask your child specifically what was said to him and how it made him feel. Younger children may have trouble choosing the correct emotions, so ask questions about his feelings, such as "Did it make you feel angry or sad?" Listen carefully to what the teaser said to your child and gather as much information about the incident as possible.
Step 3
Focus on the positive and reassure your child to help bolster her embattled self esteem. Be specific, since children sense the difference between broad figures of speech, such as "You're the prettiest girl in the world!" and targeted compliments, such as "You have bright blue eyes and a pretty smile."
Step 4
Talk about steps to take should the teasing occur again. Role play with your child by pretending to be a bully and seeing what your child says when he's teased. Discuss possible coping strategies, such as ignoring the bully and walking away, or telling a teacher when the teasing occurs. If possible, ask an older sibling or friend to keep an eye on the child and watch for potential problems and report back to you.
Step 5
Intervene when the teasing affects your child's self-esteem, social life or performance at school. If the bullying occurs at school, meet with the administration and allow them to handle the issue. If the teasing occurs in a public place, such as a playground, locate the offending child's guardian and inform her of the incident. While you cannot control another person's child, you can teach your own child to act responsibly to stop teasing and bullying.
