The purpose of disciplining children is to correct negative acting-out that is dangerous, teach positive social skills and bolster coping mechanisms. Parents should have an arsenal of effective coping mechanisms available that fit their child's particular situation and developmental level. If one technique loses effectiveness, you can switch to another strategy to maintain parental control and authority.
Nonverbal Reprimand
Sometimes a look is all your child needs to remind him of the boundaries. Hold eye contact until your child looks away; if his behaviors change, he has gotten the message.
Verbal Reprimand
If your child is misbehaving due to impulsiveness, she just may need to be reminded of the boundaries. A simple statement such as, "You know that's against the rules," is an effective disciplinary tactic because it is quick and nonintrusive.
Ignore Negative Behaviors
Deal with children who are acting out to get attention by ignoring inappropriate attention-seeking behaviors. Instead, wait for moments when your child is acting positively and praise your child during these moments.
Time-Out
Have your child sit facing a corner for a short time frame to give him a chance to calm down. Use one minute for every year of age of the child. So a 7-year-old would be given a seven-minute time-out.
Take Away Something
A young child judges the gravity of the wrong she has committed based on the severity of the consequences she receives, rather than on abstract concepts such as hurting someone's feelings. Taking away a valued possession for a short amount of time has an immediate, concrete effect that can impress upon your child the seriousness of the situation.
If/Then Statements
Observe a moment when your child is misbehaving, such as when he says "no" to a direct request you have given him. Tell him what the consequence of his misbehavior is by saying something like, "If you continue to refuse, then you will have to go to your room."
Self-Discipline
Set up a system where your school-aged child receives the most extreme consequence when he is caught behaving badly. Impose less-severe discipline if your child reports his own misbehavior. When your child tells on himself, have him participate in coming up with the most effective discipline for him.
Replace Something Broken
If your child breaks something, have her replace it. Take the money from her allowance week by week until restitution is made. If you do not give an allowance, let her "work off" the misbehavior through completing extra chores.
Experience Natural Consequences
If your child is not in danger, allow him to experience the natural consequences of misbehavior. If your child is choosing not to do his homework, for example, the teacher may take away the privilege of going on a field trip. Allowing your child to experience this loss is an effective form of discipline.
Express Disappointment
Teenagers are sometimes effectively disciplined by having someone they admire express disappointment in their actions. Include a positive assessment of the child's abilities, while at the same time expressing disappointment for missteps. Say something like, "Usually you have such great judgment, so I'm disappointed that you allowed this to happen."
