Babies enter the world wired for social interaction. Children reach such social milestones as recognizing the feelings of others, taking turns, demonstrating sympathy and coping effectively with frustration in their first 3 to 4 years. Children develop at different rates and acquire social skills under different conditions. The American Academy of Pediatrics indicates that the development of social skills ranks as one of the most important achievements for your preschool child.
Playing With Parents
Engage in play regularly with your preschooler to help her learn more advanced social skills and relate more effectively with peers. Optimal benefits from play occur when you interact with your children as a peer. Pretend play lasts for a longer period of time and becomes more complex when parents initiate play with their children, providing varied scenarios to learn social skills. Children embrace that they are desirable play partners and anticipate play opportunities with peers when parents respond positively to their play ideas.
Talking About Events and Problem-Solving
Preschool children develop strong, positive social skills by having daily conversations with a parent about peer relationships and everyday events. The conversations provide opportunities for problem-solving, sharing information and reiterating your interest in the child's activities. Children grow in social competence by discussing the feelings and needs of others and exploring social perspectives. When social setbacks and disappointments invariably occur, parents teach their children how to adopt an attitude of resiliency.
Observing Parents
Parents hold the distinction of being the most influential source of social skills training for their preschool children. Your child observes how you interact with friends, relatives and strangers; she's likely to emulate your words and behavior with careful accuracy. In addition to the numerous opportunities for direct observational learning, parents and children should discuss everyday social interactions that exemplify good and bad social skills. For example, if you help a shopper who was struggling with her packages, talk about the event and why you responded to her need.
Discipline and Praise
Preschool children learn self-control and cooperation with peers from disciplinary strategies that stress discussing the rationale for rules and natural consequences for inappropriate behavior. Disciplinary strategies that emphasize punitive techniques such as punishment typically fail to teach an appropriate replacement behavior when children demonstrate bad behavior. Children are more likely to incorporate a positive replacement behavior into their evolving behavioral repertoire when they receive praise for using the behavior.
References
- Oregon State University Extension Service: Developing Social Skills
- BabyCenter; Learning Milestones: Social Skills; Dana Sullivan
- Auburn University; Encouraging Social Skills in Young Children: Tips Teachers Can Share With Parents; Jacquelyn Mize, et al.;1996
- Parenting Science; Preschool Social Skills: A Guide for the Science-Minded Parent; Gwen Dewar
- American Academy of Pediatrics; Strategies for Teaching Important Social Skills to Young Children; Edward Christophersen, Ph.D., et al.; 2003
