Although you might not think of children having stress in their lives like adults do, their stresses can be just as frustrating, and many children have not yet learned effective coping skills. A poll by KidsHealth.org found that kids deal with their stresses in both healthy and unhealthy ways, leaving lots of room for parents to teach them more effective ways to handle stress.
Kids' Stress
The KidsHealth poll revealed that kids are stressed most by grades, school and homework, with family running a close second. Next in line were friends, peers, gossip and teasing. Nearly 25 percent of the kids surveyed admitted to taking it out on themselves when they were upset, by banging their heads against the wall, or hitting or biting themselves. These kids also displayed more unhealthy coping skills: lost their tempers, ate, or kept their problems to themselves when upset. Talking to parents was way down the list at No. 8 of coping methods, yet 75 percent of the surveyed kids said they wanted and needed help from their parents when they were troubled.
Diet and Exercise
This part is no different from dealing with adult stress. It is important that kids eat healthy and have a good foundation to resist stress-caused illnesses. They should have regular , nutritious meals and and snack times. Vigorous exercise is a great stress reliever. Kids who spend a lot of time with video games and computers can be encouraged toward more active play times such as bike riding, playing ball or other activities that involve movement. Playing with your kids can help them open up to you about what they are worried about.
Listening and Touching
It is sometimes hard for adults to resist giving advice, but it is best to become a good listener when your child wants to talk. Just allowing them the space and time with you without judgment of what they are saying can be very healing. Be sure to acknowledge their feelings and let them know their feelings are normal and they have a right to feel them. Impress upon them that everyone, even you, makes mistakes. Physical touch can be very reassuring in allowing them to know they are loved. Hugging them or gentling massaging their neck and shoulders can help them relax muscles that have become taut with tension.
Good Example and Coping Skills
Be aware that children notice how you deal with stress and might imitate you. By your example, show them that you have positive ways of dealing with the stress in your life. Teach them ways they can calm themselves when they are upset, such as deep breathing, playing quiet music, engaging in art or role playing. In instances where they did not cause what happened, such as their parents' divorce, be reassuring that it is not their fault.
