Lying is a normal childhood behavior. Children as young as 3 years old lie. However, children do not become good liars until approximately age 6. Most children who lie are testing boundaries and limits, and when confronted, the lying stops. It's important, therefore, for a parent to detect children's lies and to hold them accountable for this behavior. Fortunately, there are both verbal and non-verbal signals your child sends when he's lying.
Step 1
Look for avoidance of eye contact. Children who lie have trouble maintaining eye contact. They will look away and will not maintain your gaze for any length of time. Observe your child's behavior patterns over time. She will tend to look in one direction when she's lying.
Step 2
Monitor voice tone. When children lie, they will often change the tone of their voice. Changes in pitch or speech rate often are signs that your child is lying. When you recognize these changes, confront your child in an unemotional, matter-of-fact way by saying, "You are lying to me," and monitor his response. A child who is lying is apt to confess if directly confronted.
Step 3
Pay attention to nonverbal cues. Psychologist Dr. Gail Saltz indicates children will turn away, cross their arms or fidget when they are being deceptive. Recognizing these signs gives a parent the advantage, enabling them to confidently call their child on this behavior.
Step 4
Listen for contradictions. Because most young children are not adept liars, they will not be able to maintain the facts surrounding a lie consistently. If you listen to them for long enough, they will start to contradict themselves, and the lie will become obvious.
Tips and Warnings
- Thank your child for confessing the truth. Positive attention will decrease the chances of lying in the future.
