According to coach and teacher John Graybeal in "The Art of Empowering Children," parents play the most important role in their children's social and emotional development. Although teachers and peers also have influence, a child learns how to interact with people and their emotions by watching how you, her parent, does so. This can be a heavy responsibility, but it's also a powerful opportunity for you to contribute to your child's emotional and social health.
Modeling
Anger coach Tony Fiore conducts nationwide seminars on how to teach anger management. According to his textbook "Anger Management," modeling healthy social and emotional patterns is the single most important thing a parent can do for his child's development in that area. If you are socially inappropriate, or handle emotions in unhealthy ways, there's a good chance your child will grow up to do the same. However, if you model healthy social and emotional patterns, your child is likely to adopt those behaviors.
Communication
Talk with your children; do everything you can to help them feel like they can talk with you. In the short term, this lets you advise your children on social and emotional issues. In the long term, learning to communicate with you is likely to help them understand how to communicate with their friends and loved ones. According to coach and author John Graybeal, communication is a vital part of both social and emotional health.
Education
You're not born knowing about the best practices socially and emotionally. In fact, many adults come from families that ingrained unhealthy practices in both arenas. Education is one of the best ways to build knowledge to pass on to your children. Local health organizations, family services groups and community colleges often offer classes on social development, emotional development and general parenting. In many cases, you can choose between classes for adults and sessions for the entire family.
Role-Playing
Role-playing is a common therapeutic technique, but it's just as useful as a teaching tool according to communication specialist Dr. Deborah Tannen. You can help your child prepare for difficult situations by taking turns playing the roles of people with social or emotional challenges. If the subject is highly loaded, recruit a family pet or favorite stuffed animal to play one side of the conversation.
References
- "The Art of Empowering Children"; John Graybeal; 1998
- "That's Not What I Meant"; Deborah Tannen; 1992
- "Anger Management"; Dr. Tony Fiorie; 2008
