Disciplinary activities should be geared toward the child's age with the goal of helping him learn from his mistakes. According to the New York University Child Study Center, misbehavior is common amongst children and is a way for them to test boundaries and assert their independence. Sometimes concrete actions help children understand that what they did was wrong in a way that is meaningful to them.
Time Out
Time out is used with both younger and school-aged children, approximately between ages 3 to 12. This activity involves separating your child from others and having her sit in a quiet corner. The rule of thumb is to use one minute for every year of the child's age. Therefore, a 5-year-old child would get five minutes. The theory behind time out is that children who are misbehaving have become over stimulated and removing them from the stimulation gives them a chance to calm down.
Make Them Apologize
If your child has done something wrong, have him apologize as part of his discipline. This situation will likely provoke discomfort, making the situation more memorable. According to the website Ask Dr. Sears, it's important to set a good role model for your children by letting them see you apologize when you have made a mistake. Even toddlers can begin to apologize, however their apologies will be short and concrete, as opposed to a teenager, who can offer a more in-depth, complex apology.
Return the Item
If your child stole something, have him return it to the store or person from which he took it. This situation will provoke embarrassment for your child when discussing abstract concepts of right or wrong is ineffective. Young children sometimes do not understand that taking something is wrong, and returning the item will help them learn this lesson. An older child understand stealing is wrong but perpetrates this behavior because he believes the advantages outweigh the disadvantages; having him return the item is a way to make stealing more disadvantageous to him.
Make Restitution
The website One Tough Job suggests restitution is an appropriate disciplinary activity for older children and teenagers and is a way for them to correct a wrong. Children who have destroyed or damaged another person's property should make restitution for it, either by paying for it out of their allowance or offering to work off the debt.
References
- Family Education: Seven Ways to Discipline Children
- New York Univesity Child Study Center; About Discipline - Helping Children Develop Self-Control; Anita Gurian, Ph.D., et al.
- University of Minnesota Extension; Using "Time Out" as a Discipline Tool; Rose Allen
- Ask Dr. Sears: Five Ways to Teach Your Child to Apologize:
- University of Illinois: Problems Children Have
- One Tough Job: Disciplining Teenagers
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