Regardless of your parenting style, some combination of punishments and rewards plays a role in your approach to child discipline. Giving your child gifts, positive feedback or special privileges, for example, can help to encourage good behavior. While you should focus on rewarding good behavior and pay no attention to bad behavior, some behaviors are difficult to ignore. In such situations, punishments play an important role in discouraging your child's most unacceptable behaviors.
Positive Rewards
The psychological definition of a "reward" is something that increases the likelihood of a behavior. Positive rewards refer to the presentation or introduction of something that a child likes, such as praise, for a desirable behavior. According to a panel of psychologists and social workers in the September 01, 2001, issue of "Psychology Today," a combination of immediate, appropriate positive rewards for desirable behavior and ignoring undesirable ones is the best way to shape your child's behavior. As children often use their negative behaviors to seek attention, this combination of positive rewards and a total lack of response is a powerful form of discipline.
Negative Rewards
Negative rewards involve removing something that a child doesn't like to reward her behavior. As an example, you may reward your child for completing her homework early by excusing her from taking out the garbage for a night. As these rewards tend to be distant from your child's positive behaviors, they are not as powerful as positive rewards. In combination with a lack of response to negative behaviors, this can lead to some confusion over which behaviors you desire. As negative rewards involve removing something that is already present, however, they can be easier and more affordable for you than positive rewards.
Negative Punishments
When punishments are necessary, the Psychology Today panel suggests that you use a non-violent form of negative punishment. Such punishments discourage a certain behavior by removing something that your child enjoys. After you learn of your child's poor behavior in class, for example, you might negatively punish him by taking away his video game privileges for the weekend. While easier and more direct than ignoring his behavior, Dr. Jay Belsky points out in the September 25, 2008, issue of "Psychology Today" that it is easier for a child to continue doing something than to change his behavior. As such, children tend to have greater difficulties understanding and changing an undesirable behavior than continuing to do something that you reward.
Positive Punishments
When used appropriately and sparingly, positive punishments are effective at immediately discouraging certain behaviors. As positive punishments should not be violent or aggressive, something as simple as a stern warning, a glare or a change in the tone of your voice is often enough to discourage a behavior. Due to the negative impact that excessive punishment may have on children, however, Dr. Belsky and the "Psychology Today" panel discourage reliance upon punishments. As such, these child development experts agree that the best way to discipline your child is to reward her positive behaviors and ignore her negative ones, saving non-violent punishments for extreme situations.
References
- "Developmental Psychology: Childhood and Adolescence: Eighth Edition"; David R. Shaffer and Katherine Kipp; 2009
- Experiment Resources: Operant Conditioning
- "Psychology Today"; Rewards are Better than Punishment: Here's Why; Jay Belsky; September 2008
- "Psychological Self-Help"; Clayton E. Tucker-Ladd; 2006
- "Psychology Today"; Should You Punish Your Child?; September 2001
