As your child grows from babyhood to toddlerhood, boundaries are relatively specific and pertain to safety or appropriate social behavior. However, your job as a parent isn't over once your child enters preschool. Just as your child's world continues to expand, your boundary-setting expands as well. Setting these boundaries is critical to forming a respectful, well-adjusted child.
Basic Safety
Basics boundaries enforce safety for your child. A very young child needs specific boundaries around sharp, hot or dangerous objects as well as instructions on basic behavior such as crossing the street. An older child needs specific boundaries around getting homework done on time and being respectful. An adolescent needs specific boundaries that clarify your family's values with regard to issues such as alcohol, sexual behavior and drug use. All of these boundaries share the common goal of keeping your child safe given outside influences.
Security
Security differs from safety as it deals largely with how your child perceives the world and the limits she is aware of in terms of exploring and being curious. A child with clear boundaries knows where it is safe to play as well as what behavior is appropriate. She knows that her parents or caregivers give her freedom to explore, but rein her in if she wanders too far either in her behavior or her physical location. This security makes it possible for her develop and grow secure in the knowledge that she is surrounded by caretakers who value her.
Proper Socialization
Most children go through periods of inappropriate behavior, whether biting a child in the midst of a playgroup or wearing heavy eyeliner or pushing the family away as they become more independent in adolescence. By providing clear boundaries, you let a child know when his behavior is inappropriate and what your expectation is of his behavior in future, whether it's that biting is not tolerated or that family dinner twice a week is a critical part of family life and your child must attend.
Clarity
With clear boundaries, your child knows precisely what is expected. Rather than having to guess whether a piercing is allowed or if a child should tell you of changes to a play date in terms of time or location, your child knows what type of communication is expected and the rules to which she must adhere.
References
- "The Irreducible Needs of Children"; T. Berry Brazelton, MD, et al.; 2000
- MedLinePlus: Adolescent Development
