5 Things You Need to Know About Parent-Child Communication

1. Talk the Talk

Communication often determines the quality of the parent-child relationship. It's much easier to weather the storms of life when both parents and children talk and listen to each other. For parents, this means awareness of the importance of communication from the beginning. Remember, children learn communication skills from their parents. If you want your child's undivided attention when he hits adolescence, it's important to give him your undivided attention now. Communication is a two-way street.

2. Communicate Without Words

Communicating involves more than words. It also involves facial expression and body language. Even the youngest child picks up on nonverbal communication that comes from a facial expression. Keeping an ear glued to your cell phone communicates that your phone call is more important than your child. Practice active listening skills by maintaining eye contact with kids. If you talk to someone who keeps looking at his watch, what are you going to think? That person has non-verbally communicated that his time is too important to listen to you.

3. Forget Yes and No

Remember the preschooler who told you every detail of his day. Don't be surprised when he reaches school age if he answers "OK" or "fine" when you ask about his school day. Further questions might get you a "yes" or "no." The key then is to get rid of the "yes" or "no" type questions. Practice good communication skills that ask open-ended questions beginning with what, how or who. Examples include "What do you think about ..." and "How do you feel about..." Also, begin to respect when your child doesn't want to talk. Some kids need time to decompress after school. Perhaps asking about his day at dinnertime produces more discussion.

4. Hold Family Talk Time

Today's families are so busy that sometimes the problem is getting everyone in one place at the same time. Some parents find that regularly scheduled family meetings provide built in time for effective communication. Schedule family meetings at the same time every week to discuss upcoming schedules and problems. Make sure family meetings don't turn into gripe time or no one will want to come. Instead, make family meetings an open forum where everything can and should participate. It's important that everyone feels listened to.

5. Keep the Communication Door Open

Once kids hit early adolescence, many consider talking to parents a form of torture. Teens at home prefer hanging out in their room with the door shut. Nevertheless, effective communication remains just as important as ever, and parents need to get more creative in finding communication opportunities. When teens leave their room, don't stay buried behind a computer screen, instead give your relaxed attention. Teens consider too many questions an inquisition. When your teen starts a conversation, listen more than talk. Additionally, just because she has a problem doesn't mean she wants you to solve it. Sometimes she just wants you to listen and tell her she's doing a good job.