Parenting a teenager is challenging. Your teen has his own views and opinions, moods and problems, but you are still responsible for supporting him. Your support is needed to maintain his educational success, physical health, emotional needs and more. With open communication, a clear set of expectations and consistent effort, you will both survive the teenage years.
School Connection
Preparing your teenager to be a successful, self-supporting adult requires she first become a successful student. Students obtain higher academic achievement when they sense a feeling of connectedness to their school. The feeling that school is a caring environment where teachers and administrators care about their well-being also fosters lower risk of experimentation with tobacco, drugs, alcohol, violence and early sexual initiation, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Help your child experience a connected feeling to her school by communicating frequently with teachers. Encourage her to talk openly with school staff to stay prepared for classes. Also, help her with homework, keep her school supplies stocked and help her form a schedule to balance school, chores and social interests.
Parental Monitoring
The choices your teenager makes now can influence his future risk of developing chronic disease as an adult. To keep your teen from making dangerous choices, such as gang violence or using tobacco, the CDC suggests you use "protective factors" to reduce stress that could negatively impact his decision making. Parental monitoring is an effective way to increase protective factors in your teenager's life. Make it a habit to know where your child is, who he is with and what he is doing. Know his friends and his behavior. Set and enforce rules with consequences for breaking them.
Boundary Setting
Teenagers often begin to distance themselves emotionally from parents, which is a normal part of phasing into adulthood. However, your child is still dependent on you for her emotional needs. Choose one main boundary-setting adult, especially if more than one household is involved in raising her. Other adults then follow the same boundaries set. According to children's psychotherapist Rachel Pick, this helps children's psychological need to know who is in charge. Once clear boundaries are set, Pick suggests keeping an open dialogue and be willing to reassess.
Getting Help
If your child is in need of help beyond what you are capable of providing, it may be time to seek professional help. Important signals warning that it's time to talk to a doctor include big changes in behavior, such as aggression or withdrawal, suicide threats or exhibits loss of interest in hobbies or friends. If you sense something is wrong, have your child examined by his physician and discuss your concerns with the doctor. Visit your library for information on local mental health support agencies as well. Counseling and therapy can help augment your teen-supporting skills.
