Depending on your child's age, biting, hitting and scratching can be a normal behavior, a behavior to be monitored, or a cause of concern. Children who start behaving aggressively and continue a pattern throughout their school years tend to develop problems as teenagers and younger adults, although to most children, these behaviors are a passing phase.
Toddlers
Biting, hitting and scratching are common behaviors in a toddler up to age 3 who does not yet have the verbal skills or impulse control to express his needs in a more appropriate way.Tell the aggressive child his behavior is unacceptable by calmly stating "no" and immediately remove him from the situation. Have him sit still in a corner to calm down in a time out. Use one minute of time out for every year of age of the child. A three year old, for example, would sit alone for no more than three minutes.
Preschoolers
A preschooler around the ages of 4 to 5 sometimes engages in fights with peers or temper tantrums escalating to hitting, biting or scratching. Preschool expert Dr. Susan Campbell, indicates parents should monitor aggression in their preschoolers, but not to be concerned about the occasional outburst. Time out is still effective at this age, as is having your child complete a punishment such as doing extra chores. The child should be made to apologize, although typically this apology will lack depth and sincerity.
Primary School Children
School-aged children between the ages of approximately 6 through 9 still sometimes exhibit aggressive behaviors, although the behaviors should be more the exception than the norm. Ask your child what prompted the behavior and help her problem solve more appropriate ways of handling her frustrations. If your child was upset because peers were teasing her, for example, discuss how children sometimes tease another child when they like her, are feeling insecure or are jealous and that ignoring them is the best solution. Channel your child's energy into constructive positive activities such as sports to help her build confidence and make friends.
Pre-teens
Pre-teens, ages 10 to 12 should have well-developed coping skills that do not involve aggression. Although hitting and scratching may occur in a school-yard fight, the child knows this behavior is wrong and consequences should be more severe. Use natural consequences such as having your child apologize to the victim and take away a favorite object in a time-limited fashion. The apology should have some depth and sincerity at this age.
Considerations
Watch for signs your child's aggression is symptomatic of a problem. If the aggression escalates over time, becomes a persistent pattern or occurs in conjunction with age-inappropriate behaviors such as thumb-sucking or bed-wetting, bring your child to a therapist for evaluation. The therapist will work with you and your child to identify the problem and help your child cope.
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