Self-esteem is the opinion one holds of himself. It is a combination of ideas, beliefs and concepts that a person judges to be true about himself in relation to experience. A person's level of self-esteem determines how fit he feels to meet the challenges of life and to what degree he feels worthy of love. Self-esteem development begins early in life. How a child sees himself will affect how he thinks, acts, feels and chooses. For this reason, parenting styles that nurture high self-esteem encourage a child to follow his dreams and explore his potential.
The Dangers of Low Self-Esteem
Children with underdeveloped self-esteem tend to self-criticize excessively. They often find difficulty in resolving minor challenges and become easily frustrated. Since a child with low self-esteem has little trust in her own abilities, she will likely choose passivity on occasions when assertiveness is appropriate and instead resign to the choices made by others. Children with low self-esteem often identify with their mistakes. They see a bad performance as a reflection of who they are, as opposed to an opportunity for skill development.
Words Count
Kids absorb the meaning behind your words. A parents may sometimes try to shield a child from let-down by instructing her not to "get your hopes up." Although this may be done in the spirit of good intentions, a child who hears this phrase too often may only learn to doubt her own abilities. Over time, she may even develop a deeply entrenched belief that winning is an option open to others but not her. A well-adjusted child learns early on to give her best to any task, notice what works and change what doesn't. Parents who encourage this perspective teach children to approach the world in a spirit of learning.
Turning Points
Self-esteem is fluid. As a child reaches certain developmental milestones, self-esteem may rise or fall in accordance with his experience. If he learns appropriate risk-taking behavior and how to create circumstances through choice, self-esteem will likely be enhanced. However, if his view narrows and he becomes closed to exploration, self-esteem will be lost.
Environment
Children raised in chaotic environments often develop a deep-seeded sense of powerlessness. Parents who argue continuously will teach a child that difficulties are to be feared. Criticism that shames or ridicules will also diminish self-esteem. Making statements such as "Why are you so shiftless?" or "Can't you do anything right?" will grind down a child's self-image. Many parents have formed the habit of only giving feedback when something goes wrong. However, the practice of giving praise when things are going right encourages a child to take note of her strengths and weaknesses.
Example
Children learn less from what you say and more from what you do. Parents who are excessively negative, lose control easily or lack confidence in their own abilities will likely raise children who do the same. Therefore, one of the best ways to build a child's self-esteem is by nurturing your own.
Member Comments