As they push toward adulthood, most teenagers experience emotional conflicts with their peers and parents. The transition from childhood to adulthood involves building your sense of self and developing independent living skills. This transition often leads to struggles with parents and other authority figures over limits and expectations. Because bodies change significantly during adolescence, driven by hormonal fluctuations, teenagers' emotional responses to situations vary unpredictably from happiness to anger, anxiety and depression, often leaving parents confused and frustrated.
Setting Limits
Several characteristics of teenage behavior make setting limits particularly challenging. As part of their effort to become independent, adolescents want to make their own decisions. Additionally, the influence of peers increases significantly in adolescence, leading to risky decisions to impress or gain group acceptance. Parents, on the other hand, foresee unpleasant or dangerous consequences in poor decisions by adolescents. Therefore, parents set limits on driving, TV time, homework, bedtime, nutrition and friends. Although parental limits create conflicts between parents and teenagers, knowing that limits exist improves a teenager’s sense of security, according to “USA Today.”
School
Parents' expectations about school attendance and performance provide another arena for problems between teenagers and their parents. To avert problems at school or minimize consequences of existing problems, parents need to remain actively engaged with school personnel, especially teachers and coaches. Understanding how a child’s school behavior is seen by these authority figures allows parents to intervene and provide assistance when needed. Attending events and volunteering to help with sports or school-sponsored activities that interest your teenager gives you the opportunity to reinforce positive behaviors and demonstrate concern. If problems occur with school performance or behavior, early intervention helps ameliorate problems before consequences become permanent.
Sex
Increased hormone levels and the importance of peer relationships often pressure adolescents in the direction of active sexual behavior. Although not all parents are comfortable talking about sex, making sure children have correct information, understand values in relationships and behave responsibly remain topics you need to address with them. Parents should provide information and explain their attitudes on adolescent sexual behavior while carefully listening to their teenager’s point of view, suggests MayoClinic.com.
Drugs and Alcohol
Peers often encourage adolescents to engage in illegal and dangerous behaviors involving drugs and alcohol. Research shows that children who abuse substances do less well in school than peers who do not. Each day, more than 4,000 teens use an illegal drug for the first time, 7,000 try alcohol and more than 2,000 try a prescription pain reliever without a doctor's prescription. Parents who suspect their teenager has problems with drugs or alcohol should engage in a calm two-way discussion that makes clear their opposition to the use of any illegal substances, answers their teenager’s questions about drugs and alcohol and includes listening to the teen. Teenagers with substance abuse problems might require intervention from professionals such as a psychologist or counselors.
References
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; Using a Biomarker Panel for Detecting Adolescent Depression; John Bilello; August 2011
- "USA Today"; Your Health: Teens do Better with Parents who Set Limits; Kim Painter; February 2010
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; Adolescence Learn Some Positive Parenting Tips; September 2008
- MayoClinic.com: Sex Education: Talking to Your Teen About Sex
- Office of National Drug Control Policy: Back to School
