Discipline often conjures negative connotations, but disciplining your child shouldn't be an inherently negative experience. Use communication, age-appropriate methods and teamwork to help you define expected behavior and reward adherence to rules. No one method of discipline works across all age groups, so it's important to change and adapt tactics to match your child's age and level of understanding. As you and your child work together to define expectations, discipline will strengthen your relationship while ensuring that your child knows how to act appropriately.
Toddlers
Since toddlers are only beginning to explore their autonomy, they misbehave without ulterior motives. By choosing a few basic rules for your home, you won't overwhelm your toddler with confusing expectations. For instance, instituting a "no hitting" rule is easily enforced, since toddlers understand both the behavior and the reaction. Consistency is key with toddlers, who often see what reaction they get by repeating a behavior time and time again.
Preschoolers
Your preschooler is learning about himself a little more each day. He's shaping his likes, dislikes and interests, which helps you to create disciplinary methods that take his personality into consideration. Preschoolers understand you more easily than younger children do, so it's always best to explain what you expect before encountering a situation where misbehavior is possible. If your child does misbehave, always explain to him the cause and effect as part of discipline: "I'm putting you in time out because you weren't sharing with Billy. If you don't want to share, you don't get to play."
Elementary School
The older your child gets, the easier it is to discipline using logic. Elementary school children are old enough to participate in their disciplinary methods, so asking them logically what the punishment for a certain behavior should be puts them in control. Outline rules and expectations together, then discipline swiftly when a rule is broke to prove you're serious and to avoid your child taking advantage of inconsistency.
Preteens
Discipline with a preteen is often a delicate matter. As your preteen learns his place in the world, makes new friends and deals with social difficulty, his self-esteem could take a hit. If you discipline and use hurtful words about your child's character, he could take those words to heart. Instead of disciplining his nature, discipline the behavior. Avoid commenting directly on his poor grades, focusing on what causes poor grades, such as inattention or a lack of application. This will help avoid your preteen misreading your words. Focus on positive discipline, such as praise for proper behavior.
Teens
When your child becomes a teenager, he teeters on the cusp of adulthood without all the freedom. Because of this, he might revert to more toddler-like behavior, testing his boundaries to see how far you'll let him go. Avoid fights by using a behavior contract that spells out what you expect and the punishment for ignoring and failing to meet expectations. Have your teen sign the contract and refer to it often so he understands that you will be consistent.
