Acknowledging that you've done or said something wrong is a challenge. No one likes to be in the wrong, especially when someone's feelings have been hurt. Also, being the one in the wrong can hurt your reputation. The best way to get back on equal ground is not with gifts or flowery words, but with a sincere apology. Being an adult and issuing a genuine apology can help you save face by showing that you can be mature and can admit when you're in the wrong.
Step 1
Take responsibility for your actions by acknowledging what you did to offend the other person. Even if it is painful to admit, let the person know that you understand it was your fault, and let her know you need to make it right to restore the relationship.
Step 2
Refrain from making excuses as to why you were in the wrong. For instance, someone who is apologizing for losing her temper in a business meeting does not need to assert that it was because of another coworker. Instead, the right way to apologize is to explain that you know it was wrong and that it shouldn't have happened.
Step 3
Keep the apology simple and your language straight-forward. An apology is best received when it is genuine and easy to understand. Even if it feels awkward to say it out loud, make your point, say sorry and move on. Redbook magazine recommends that you start with a positive affirmation about the other party, apologize for your misdeed and then end with a positive note for the future.
Step 4
Give the other party ample time to forgive you. An apology might be made moot when you try and force the relationship to get back on the same ground it was before your misdeed. Give the other person space and time. You've apologized sincerely, it is up to the other party to take the next step in forgiveness to restore your relationship.
Step 5
Show your sincerity by making a commitment to change. Relationship writer Tom O'Leary urges those who are apologizing to affirm their will to change in the apology. Instead of saying that you're sorry that you lost your temper, say you're sorry that you lost your temper, and that next time you'll be careful to express it in a more constructive matter. Showing that you can change helps the other person learn to trust you again.
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