Parenting is an unrelenting job often requiring you to be nicer than you want to be, care more than you wish you had to, and defer your own favorite activities time and time again. It requires patience when you're not feeling patience and wakefulness when you'd rather be asleep. It can sometimes be hard to stay motivated to do a great job as a parent, and all parents fail from time to time. However, there are ways to keep yourself inspired and motivated despite the demands of parenthood on your time, energy and personal resourcefulness.
Step 1
Keep a journal where you record at least one thing each day you love about your child. As a parent, it's easy to fall into the habit of focusing on the smelly diapers, poor report cards and arguments. That daily time to remember the good times can keep you in a motivated frame of mind.
Step 2
Smile. According to psychologist and social researcher Ron Gutman in a 2011 TED Talk presentation, smiling is contagious in two ways. The physical motion is contagious to your brain by stimulating positive emotions -- and it's contagious to people around you. It can make time you spend with your children more enjoyable for both of you.
Step 3
Keep discipline about the behavior, not about your child. A consistent, impersonal attitude about discipline requires less effort and emotion than getting personal and making things up as you go along. It also helps your child believe he can improve his behavior, rather than beginning to believe that he's simply "lazy," "stupid" or "bad."
Step 4
Talk with peers and advisors such as your spouse, parents, siblings with children and other adults you trust. The simple act of venting about a rough day can be enough to help things feel manageable, and the advice and support of your friends can also motivate you.
Step 5
Take care of yourself. Researcher Arianna Huffington notes that inadequate rest makes you less resourceful and robs you of motivation. Similarly, taking time each week to be an adult and taking care of your own needs refuels your tanks to help you take care of your children better when you go back "on duty."
Step 6
Teach your child activities you enjoy. If you like music, teach your child about your favorite bands instead of the music "kids these days" enjoy. If you like sports or chess, play with your child. Celebrating shared interests fuels your emotional gas tanks while building a better relationship with your child.
Tips and Warnings
- Parenting advice comes from all corners, can be confusing, and is often simultaneously contradictory and judgmental. Although there are a few specific "best practices" such as using a child seat in your car and not parenting while drunk, you should follow the practices that work best for your family and yourself. Comparing yourself to the vast field of advice can only lead to frustration and disappointment in yourself.
References
- "The Art of Empowering Children"; John Graybeal; 1998
- YouTube; Arianna Huffington: How to Succeed? Get More Sleep; January 2011
- YouTube; Ron Gutman: The Hidden Power of Smiling; May 2011
