Your 8- to 11-year-old child begins to take on new personality characteristics as he leaves middle childhood and reaches preadolescence. As he enters late childhood and becomes a youth, he will become more autonomous and spend more time with friends rather than his family. If he is your oldest child, some of the changes might be surprising as you learn to adjust to having an older young person in your home.
Emotional Development
An 8- to 10-year-old is beginning to prize friends more highly. As she does so, her friends’ values might cause her to question your rules and values. Her feelings are close to the surface, and she could become much more sensitive, especially when you discipline her, notes the University of Florida Extension website. By age 11, your child finds herself negotiating conflict as she tries to let go of her role as a child and learn about becoming an adult. She might begin viewing the world from a more objective standpoint. As she faces adolescence, she might begin to be more critical of you, her parent.
Physical Development
An 8- to 10-year-old is very active -- climbing, playing ball games, running, riding a bike and other physical pursuits. As his body grows, he needs time to get used to his new size. If he has begun maturing early, he might be upset by this. Your 11-year-old’s small muscle coordination refines itself. He might express an interest in arts, crafts and models. His sleep and eating habits might change for the worse. As he enters early adolescence, you might notice that he's developing a new interest in his appearance; new changes to his body can make him self-conscious.
Social Development
The 8- to 10-year-old starts to worry about being accepted and is deciding -- on her own -- who she wants as a friend. Friendships become much more intense; you might notice times when she is "on the outs" with a friend. As she becomes more absorbed in the world outside your home, look for her interest in recording artists, television and movie stars and sports stars to sharply increase. An 11-year-old might focus more on small groups or cliques of friends. She begins expressing concern about what other people think of her. Girls display more developed social skills than boys of the same age. Instead of asking you to buy something for her, she becomes interested in earning money herself. As she begins separating from you, she might become argumentative, challenging your rules. Her moods bounce between bubbly and defensive as she explores who she is becoming.
Mental Development
Your 8- to 10-year-old develops a black-and-white concept of fairness, finding it difficult to budge at times. He is very curious about the world around him. His bedroom might become a repository of new collections. He might ask you for more independence. You might notice brief periods of anger or sadness, but he recovers quickly. Your 11-year-old develops a more perfectionist attitude and can become frustrated easily if he has taken on too much. You might notice his attention span growing longer, which could bode well for his school performance.
