Being a parent is as challenging as it is rewarding. Just when you think you think you've got a handle on a particular stage in your child's development, along comes another stage, rife with fresh challenges that didn't exist before. Being a good parent takes a lot of work and dedication, but there are a variety of resources that can help you improve your parenting skills.
Parent Training Programs
Those wishing to improve their parenting skills can attend one of the many parent-training courses and programs available throughout the U.S., which are designed to help improve parenting skills and prevent children from being maltreated. In 2010, behavioral scientists working with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention conducted a "meta-analysis" of all the available research on existing parent-training programs to identify the most effective elements of these programs. Its results were published in a "Parent Training Programs: Insight for Practitioners," which summarizes the findings and offers guidance to practitioners who work with parents. "Parent Training Programs: Insight for Practitioners" can be downloaded free on the CDC website.
Books
Another way to improve parenting skills is to read some of the numerous parenting books on the market. "Today's Parent" recommends several books on this topic, including "classics" such as Thomas Gordon's "Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children" and Dorothy Corkille Briggs' "Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Step-by-Step Guidelines for Raising Responsible, Productive, Happy Children," both originally published in 1970. Other recommendations include "Becoming the Parent You Want to Be" by Laura Davis and Janis Keyser, "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, and "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.
Learn Effective Discipline
Discipline is an important part of parenting, but it's important to draw a distinction between discipline and punishment. According to Judith Graham, extension human development specialist with the University of Maine, an effective way to improve parenting skills is the "ages and stages" style of discipline, which advises parents how to change disciplinary styles to suit a child's changing stages of development. Discipline, says Graham, is an ongoing process that is reflected in the way you treat your child and helps him respond to the everyday occurrences that take place in his life.
Being Understanding
According to H. Wallace Goddard, former extension family and child development specialist with the Alabama Cooperative Extension System, a process called "being understanding" can help parents show love and affection to their children by demonstrating parents are committed to understanding what children are going through. The essence of being understanding lies in taking the time to talk to your child and thoroughly understanding what you're being told.
Active Listening
Another way to improve parenting skills is to learn to engage in active listening. According to the website of the University of Florida IFAS Extension, active listening can help parents and children speak clearly to each other and ensure each understands the other. Active listening is important at all stages of a child's development but especially during the teen years. When actively listening, it's important that you ask good questions, listen in a nonjudgmental manner, paraphrase what your child has said to ensure you fully comprehend it, and demonstrate empathy with what he tells you.
References
- The University of Maine Cooperative Extension Publications; Discipline that Works - The Ages and Stages Approach; Judith Graham; 2001
- University of Michigan Health System: Parenting Resources
- Alabama Cooperative Extension System; Being Understanding - A Key to Developing Healthy Children; H. Wallace Goddard; January 1994
- University of Florida IFAS Extension; Active Listening - A Communication Tool; Daniel F. Perkins, et al.; December 1999
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Parent Training Programs - Insight for Practitioners
- "Today's Parent"; The Top 20 Parenting Books; John Hoffman; October 2004
