The process of growing up brings phase after phase of transitions, both physically and mentally. Particularly as your child enters early adolescence, she may start to display behaviors such as dwindling self-confidence, insecurity and low self-esteem. As a parent, you have a vital role in helping her reverse these behaviors. Throughout these times of transition, you can support your child by creating a safe and trusting environment at home that celebrates achievements and does not overemphasize setbacks.
Step 1
Help your child find an activity he enjoys. While you should not force your child into playing a sport or taking a dance class, you can provide him with opportunities to do something that interests him. If your child seems to have a talent for art, offer to take him to an art class as an opportunity to find an activity that makes him feel good about himself.
Step 2
Spend time with your child, doing something you both love together. Examples could include taking a walk at a local park, cooking a meal or watching a movie. During this designated time, give your child your full attention. Listen to what she has to say. This reinforces the idea that she is important to you and her thoughts and opinions have value.
Step 3
Encourage your child to have friends over and encourage him to visit friends' houses. Many insecure kids tend to "cling to home base,” being afraid to leave home to try something new. While some amount of clinging can be comforting, help your child to step out of his comfort zone periodically.
Step 4
Assign responsibility to your child. While chores may seem boring to a child, they instill a sense of responsibility and confidence, signaling that you trust her enough to complete an important task or duty. Examples could be setting the table, creating the weekly grocery list or managing the family garden.
Step 5
Talk to your child’s teachers and his friends’ parents to keep up with the people influencing your child’s life. Insecurity can arise from a peer group that is reinforcing negative messages. While you cannot change some aspects of the friends your child has, you can emphasize the message that your child deserves true, caring friends.
References
- HelpGuide.org; Attachment & Reactive Attachment Disorders; Melinda Smith, M.A., et al.; February 2011
- Massachusetts General Hospital: Anxiety (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
- AskDrSears.com: 12 Ways to Help Your Child Build Self-Confidence
- U.S. Department of Education; Confidence, Helping Your Child Through Early Adolescence; September 2003
