Pregnancy can be a frightening and isolating experience for an expectant mother. Do your best to alleviate her negative feelings by talking, taking part, reinforcing your bond with her and, as much as possible, making the experience of bringing a child into the world a shared one.
Talking
During this exciting time, both you and the expectant mother will have all sorts of hopes and fears running through your heads. Do not be afraid to share these feelings. It can be comforting to discuss with the expectant mother practical matters, such as new curtains for the nursery or the options for a birthing plan. In this way, she will feel part of a joint endeavor -- one in which you are actively participating -- and much less overwhelmed.
Sharing
The University of Maryland Medical Center recommends sharing as many experiences as you can. Attend checkups and birthing classes with her. Eat the same healthy foods, such as whole-grain bread and cereals, that you encourage her to eat and avoid spicy dishes that she cannot stomach. “Talk” to the baby each day so she understands that you know the baby is yours as well as hers. Do not overdo it; which may make her feel that you are wresting “ownership” of the pregnancy from her.
Sex
In her book “Conception, Pregnancy and Birth,” Dr. Miriam Stoppard addresses the health and emotional benefits of maintaining a normal sex life throughout pregnancy. A woman’s libido tends to drop during the first trimester. Once morning sickness subsides, she may find this time of pregnancy to be a sensual one, due to raised hormone levels and increased blood-flow to her erogenous zones. Lovemaking reinforces the bond between you at a period in your lives when it is most essential; it is also good exercise for the pelvic muscles, which come into play during childbirth.
Massage
Some women experience intervals during pregnancy when they feel unattractive and unfeminine. Taking time to massage her feet and shoulders can help relieve such feelings and address the aches and pains that result from carrying around an extra 20 pounds or more. According to Dr. Stoppard, after five months, your baby will respond pleasurably to a gentle massaging of the mother’s abdomen. This is an early opportunity for the whole family to bond -- something that can bring the expectant mother happiness and confidence going forward.
References
- University of Maryland Medical Center; Pregnancy Guide; Before You Get Pregnant
- MayoClinic.com; Expectant Fathers: Dads Need Attention, Too; Mary M. Murry; June 2010
- "Conception, Pregancy and Birth"; Dr. Miriam Stoppard; 2000
