Caring for grandchildren can be fun and rewarding, as well as a great way to form a lasting relationship with them. You may be an experienced caregiver, but parenting and theories of child development have undergone many changes since you were on the beat. Setting up comfortable guidelines for the time you spend caring for your grandchildren is a smart way to avoid misunderstandings and to make sure both you and the parents are on the same page from the beginning.
Safety
Whether your baby-sitting duties are casual or daily, always put safety first. Make sure your home is properly outfitted, childproofed and checked by the parents. If you don't feel comfortable driving your grandchild, say so, and ask that parents pick up and drop off the children. If you have any doubt about whether an activity is safe or appropriate, ask ahead of time or make a phone call. Most parents would rather weigh in on even a minor issue than have assumptions be made.
Instructions
This is a strategy that works in everyone's favor: child, parents and grandparents. Though you may have raised your fair share of children, the parents of your grandchildren will likely have very specific ideas about times and methods for feeding — including what children can eat — sleeping, playtime and bathing or changing routines. Ask for these instructions in writing so parents can decide concretely what their expectations are and you can have an easy reference on hand.
Time Commitments
In the initial excitement of a new addition to the family, grandparents often offer baby-sitting services without realizing what they're committing to. Working parents may need more than just an occasional date night or errand-running trip. Depending on your schedule, and willingness, be clear from the beginning what "available" means to you. Some grandparents prefer to have set days and times for providing childcare, others to be "on call" for emergencies or spontaneous needs. Have an upfront discussion with your children so you won't be put on the spot when calls come.
Other Rules
Regarding discipline, have a frank discussion about how bad behavior will be handled and how you're allowed to discipline the children. For example: Timeouts, removing privileges or having a reward system for positive behaviors can be specified by the parents and taught to caregivers if necessary. Also, making the transition from independent adult to babysitter can mean you have to police your own behavior as well. Be mindful not to drink, smoke or curse when your grandchild is in your care. Keep in mind that what you do on your own time is your business, but childcare requires a higher level of accountability.
Considerations
Once rules have been set and agreed upon, make one last rule: The concerns or problems of grandparents or parents can be brought up promptly and calmly. This assures that minor irritations don't turn into major resentments and result in a breakdown of communication. For example, if grandchildren are picked up late or the parents feel you're feeding the kids too much sugar, it should be mentioned calmly if it happens more than once.
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