The birth of a new baby can be a stressful time for older siblings. Your children may worry that you won't give them as much attention as you used to or that you will like the new baby more. By adequately preparing older siblings for your new baby, you can encourage a smooth transition as your family gains its newest member.
Involve Them in Your Pregnancy
Including your children in your pregnancy can help them feel more excited about the new baby. Share your pregnancy with your children before -- or at least at the same time as -- you tell other people to ensure that they hear the good news from you. Bring your children to your doctor appointments, especially ones where you get to see an ultrasound of the baby. Involve your children in choosing decorations for the nursery, buying baby supplies and picking out a going home outfit. Have your children each select a present to give the new baby when he is born.
Teach Them About Babies
Talk to your children about what babies are like so they know what to expect. Spend time with friends or family who have babies. Look at pictures of your children when they were babies. Read age-appropriate books to them about having a new baby. Sign your children up for a sibling preparation class if your hospital offers one. Explain to them that at first the new baby will probably cry a lot, you will have to spend a lot of time taking care of her and she won't be able to play with them.
Reward Big Kid Behavior
The prospect of a new sibling may cause older children's behavior to regress -- even before the baby arrives. Your children may start talking in baby talk, asking to drink from a bottle, wetting their pants or misbehaving more often. Encourage the behavior you want by giving lots of positive attention to big kid behavior. Praise your children for speaking to you in grown-up voices, drinking nicely from their cups, going potty in the toilet and doing what you ask them to. Ignore or respond matter-of-factly to babyish behavior, since too much attention -- even if it's negative -- may encourage your children to continue the behavior.
Affirm Their Family Position
Reassure your children that they will still maintain their place of importance in your family. Describe the baby as "your little brother or sister" -- rather than as "the new baby" -- to keep the focus on your children. If any of your children will be moving out of a crib or bedroom, make the switch well before your baby's birth. This will help keep your children from feeling that the baby evicted them. Have the baby give presents to your children when he comes home from the hospital to help them feel included and special.
