For a parent, the idea of your preteen child being exposed to a flood of text messages can seem disturbing and a challenge to your authority. That said, texting is part of the modern world -- and in the long run it can be good for your child to learn to text moderately, under your guidance. This means adopting a stance that is firm but sympathetic.
Boundaries
Texting can pose a risk to your child's health and social skills if it's allowed to interfere with sleep and meals, so don't be afraid to impose clear boundaries. For instance, make it clear that texting is not acceptable at the dinner table, during homework hours and after a certain point in the evening. Inform your child from the start that you will regularly scan through your her cell phone for inappropriate messages.
Texts for Chores
It's good for your child to grasp right from the start that texts cost money. If your preteen wants to become a prolific texter, then introduce a system whereby he'll have to pay for the privilege by undertaking extra chores or good deeds in exchange for credit. This is one way of curbing your child's texting without having to play the bad guy.
Morality
Texting raises all kinds of issues that concern morality and socially-responsible behavior. As a parent of a preteen, you're most likely anxious about so-called "cyber-bullying." Encourage your child to open up about any hurtful messages she's received; also remind her to think twice about what she says about other children in her own texts. Similarly, before passing on a text or a piece of gossip, she should consider whether she might be betraying a confidence or someone's right to privacy. See this as an opportunity to revisit these fundamentals of good behavior.
Be Positive
Don't demonize texting or be remorselessly negative about it, as this will only make your child less willing to seek your guidance. After all, texting does have positives. It's a legitimate tool of communication. Used moderately, it can reinforce social bonds and make your child feel part of a community. Also, rather than eroding literacy as many parents fear, research in Britain published in 2010 on "Leadership Briefing," a weekly online summary concerning education, provided by the Teaching Times website, indicates that textisms – the abbreviations used in text messages – actually heighten a child's interest in word play and their ability to predict how a word should be spelled on the basis of how it sounds.
