1. Please Don't Leave
Separation anxiety is an unfortunate part of many childhood experiences. Separation anxiety occurs typically anywhere between 18 months and two years. The severity of the anxiety varies from child to child, and some children never experience it at all. The anxiety surrounds fears that the parent will not return to the child upon leaving their sight. Some children may experience it only in extreme situations, while other children can become quite upset if the parent leaves the room for a short period of time.
2. Separation Anxiety in Older Children
Separation anxiety in some children can occur for years while others seem to get over it within a few months. Typically once children are integrated into a peer group, such as school, then the anxiety will begin to fade. However, some children are more sensitive to the separation and may be distressed throughout their elementary school years. Children who have pervasive separation anxiety disorder, especially children who are nine years and older, typically have a deeper anxiety issue that needs to be addressed. Nonetheless, some anxiety around parental or caretaker separation is normal and should be expected for a period of time in some children.
3. I Feel So Guilty
Parents typically feel an enormous sense of guilt when a child expresses anxiety over being separated for a period of time. The sense of distress that a child experiences is often very real for the parent and can cause some parents to feel as though they have done something wrong. It is important to remember that some children are just more prone to the anxiety of separation because of their unique temperament. Give children an estimate of how long you will be will help you to feel better about leaving them.
4. Saying Goodbye
Easing separation anxiety can be a skill that parents must learn through practice. Goodbyes can be difficult if a child has a strong reaction to the separation. Learning how to time prolonged absences is important. Practice being apart from one another for brief periods of time. Remaining calm when you leave will assuage their fears. Always make sure you return when you promise you will, if possible. However, if you don't return at the promised time, call and let the caretaker know you will be late.
5. Know When to Worry
Separation anxiety is a fairly normal occurrence. However, some children continue to experience the anxiety long past the time when others have learned to cope with it. Separation anxiety disorder involves panic attacks and other extreme reactions to separation, and deserve the attention of a psychologist or physician. Dealing with extreme separation anxiety can be trying but there are various treatments available to suffering children and parents.
