5 Things You Need to Know About Verbal Skills

1. Bridge the Communication Gap

For most people a communication gap forms when they enter middle age and attempt to converse with younger generations. The gap widens with age. One way to bridge the communication gap is to read. Language is fluid, and new words are constantly introduced. Reading will acquaint you with new terms so that you can recognize and use them in conversation. Reading will also keep you informed of new technologies which are typically adopted and discussed by younger generations. A little knowledge about the younger generation's celebrity role models will cut years off your age. Scan articles for names of sports figures, actors, musicians and other artists.

2. Withhold Judgment

It's natural to mentally agree or disagree with a speaker. In conversation with a younger speaker resist the urge to voice any negative judgment. When you judge negatively you either state or imply that the speaker should not feel the way he does. The speaker typically responds with defensiveness. For example, a younger speaker is likely to dismiss you as rigid and old fashioned. Instead, ask questions aimed at better understanding the speaker's point. As a byproduct of explaining his thoughts, the speaker will typically come to his own judgment about them.

3. Reword Facts

"You talk at me, not with me!" This is a common complaint made by younger speakers about their older conversation partners. To avoid it, show you are listening. Summarize the speaker's main points. Use your own words to convey that you have processed what was said. Your summarizing skills will improve with practice.

4. Identify Feelings

A younger speaker often presents feelings along with facts. Identify the speaker's feelings. Capture the feeling in one word, and make it descriptive. For example, instead of "angry," try "annoyed,""livid," or "furious." State the feeling in a short sentence. For example, "You seem annoyed," or "You sound furious." These verbal skills require practice to sound natural. Even if you mislabel the feeling, the speaker will feel encouraged by your effort and continue conversing.

5. Follow Verbally

Don't be surprised when a younger speaker mentions a word or subject with which you are not familiar. Instead of voicing surprise or directly asking for an explanation, try a communication skill called verbal following. Repeat the last word or two of the speaker's statement using a questioning tone. The speaker will elaborate, and you'll still appear up to date.