1. Teach Your Children Well
Parenting involves teaching children, whether it's learning the alphabet, tying shoes or riding a bike. It's also about teaching survival skills. No, not roughing it in the wilderness, but making it through life's obstacles in a healthy manner. Life has ups and downs, and no matter what you do, you can't keep disappointment from your children. Nor should you. Kids need to face and learn to deal with disappointments to become emotionally stronger and healthier people. The ability to bounce back from adversity is known as resiliency, and building resiliency in children is one of the greatest gifts a parent can instill. Teach a child to be resilient starting with supportive relationships both inside and outside of the family.
2. See Children for Why They Are
People do it all the time--they say things like "you're just like your father" or "you sound just like your mother." Actually, a child is his or her own person, not a clone of parents. Sure, there might be some hereditary similarities, but your child's emotional makeup or personality is uniquely hers. She may be shy while you're outgoing or he may be studious whereas you're athletic. Accept your children for who they are, even if it's not who you want them to be. When your child feels accepted, he feels more secure and able to withstand the stresses of life.
3. Ask Children for Help
Children enjoy being helpful, particularly if you start them early when they "wanna' help." Let your 3 year old set the table without correcting her work. She'll be so proud of herself for helping. Continue to give children responsibilities as they get older. "But she won't even clean her room" is a cry heard from parents around the world. No child likes cleaning his room, did you? Look for occasional fun ways to help, perhaps, brushing the dog, stirring something or teaching a younger sibling how to count. Whatever you do, don't take a job away from a child to do it yourself. This sends a message that they're not good enough. Give children responsibility for tasks, and they'll face life resiliently.
4. Learn from Mistakes
Stress to children that everyone makes mistakes, and that's how we learn. A child learning to pour into a glass may tip it a few times, but each time he'll improve a little more. Allow children to see you screw up. Children learn how to respond to failure by watching those around them. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Point out your child's strengths, so that he can also experience success.
5. Don't Rescue Children
When problems arise, encourage your child to come up with solutions rather than solve the problem for her. Unless a child is in physical danger, allow children to assume responsibility for their own decision-making skills. If bad behavior gets your child detention or even suspension, don't interfere with the decision. Arguing with the principal or threatening to sue deprives your child of learning a very important lesson that he's responsible for his actions, not parents, teachers or society. Don't be afraid to add your own consequences. Perhaps failing grades mean no more video games or cell phone.
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