Having the sex talk with your teen is a discussion that many parents dread, put off or ignore altogether. According to The Heritage Foundation, a conservative Washington, D.C., think tank, about 20 percent more parents report having an effective conversation about sex than teens reporting the same. Communication is key when it comes to teaching your teen about having a safe and healthful sexual relationship. While it might be uncomfortable, it is a necessary part of parenting and should be done as a way to facilitate communication and discussion between you and your teen.
Step 1
Time it well. The Mayo Clinic advises using a TV show you are watching together or a school class to open the discussion. This makes it a more natural discussion, where you can both be comfortable talking about something that you've seen or heard on her favorite TV show. Or wait until you are engaged in another activity such as driving or cleaning to start the discussion.
Step 2
Clearly explain what your expectations and hopes are when it comes to your teen and his sex life. While you might be afraid of scaring him or alienating him, if you want him to wait until he's in a committed relationship to have sex, say it. Teens can't read your mind, and if you don't let him know what you expect, he might get mixed signals about having the sex talk. He might think that discussing it with you is your approval to begin a sex life.
Step 3
Cover safe sex. Even if your wish is that she wait to have sex, note that you want her to stay protected from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Mention condoms, and let her know about your nearest Planned Parenthood office. They can help her obtain birth control pills to protect against pregnancy, even if you don't approve. Stick to the facts and be informative without being judgmental.
Step 4
Talk about the emotions and pressures that exist once a sexual a relationship begins. While you can stick to the facts when talking about protection, you can ask some questions about starting a sexual relationship that your teen can think about seriously. Ask "How long should two people be together before having sex" or "What happens when one person is ready for sex but the other isn't?" These questions can help your teen think seriously about different scenarios so he is prepared for them.
Step 5
Keep the discussion open. The Palo Alto Medical Foundation notes that the sex discussion should not be a one-time occurrence. To be most effective, leave the door open by ending the discussion by reassuring your teen that she can talk to you if she has more questions. Acknowledge that it might be awkward for her, but you'd rather that she come to you first. This keeps the discussion going past the initial one.
