According to an article published in the Chicago Tribune, top psychologists list the silent treatment as a poor and ineffective way to communicate your disappointment and anger toward another person. The silent treatment simply doesn't get anything done, and if someone is giving you the silent treatment, you shouldn't dignify the bad behavior by reciprocating it or trying to stop it. Instead, you can respond to the silent treatment by showing your partner how an adult communicates, and leaving the ball in her court.
Step 1
Check your own feelings. When you are being given the silent treatment, how does it make you feel. If it doesn't bother you, you don't need to respond in any way. If it makes you angry or upset, you need to communicate those feelings to your partner later on. Either way, you should take a step back from the situation and monitor your own emotions.
Step 2
Recognize that it is not your job to be a mind reader. You are not a psychic, and if someone is giving you the silent treatment without telling you what is wrong, then it is her duty to tell you, or run the risk of becoming angry when you commit the same mistake again. Once you remove the sense of responsibility from yourself, you can respond to the silent treatment in a calmer manner.
Step 3
Tell your partner your own feelings. Let him know that when he gives you the silent treatment, if confuses, angers or saddens you. Let him know that you're happy to remedy the situation if he'll tell you what is wrong, but if he doesn't, there is nothing you can do.
Step 4
Invite your partner to tell you what's the matter. Take responsibility by asking specifically: "Did I do something to offend you?" Do it in a friendly and calm way, so that she knows that she is safe to communicate with you. Give her a few minutes to gather her thoughts and break her silence, then you can have an adult conversation about the problem and how to fix it in the future.
Step 5
Avoid bugging him to tell you more if he is still clinging to the silent treatment as a way to punish you. Let him know you're willing to talk when he is, then walk away from the situation. This leaves the ball in his court, so to speak, and he'll need to come break his silence to you when he's ready. You have done your best and it is no longer your responsibility.
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