No marriage is picture perfect, and when problems arise that cannot be solved with the spouses alone, a marriage counseling session may be scheduled to help them learn how to communicate and work through their problems to get their marriage back on track. You may be nervous before your appointment, but know that your counselor is highly professional and he'll be able to talk you through exercises that will help your marriage to flourish and succeed in the future. Knowing what to expect at marriage counseling can help you relax and get the most out of your session.
Beginning Exercises
As soon as the marriage counseling session begins, your counselor may engage both partners in a marriage exercise that helps her to learn more about the dynamics of your marriage, and what you need to work on as a couple. She may lead you in a visualization exercise or ask you to write private letters. These exercises set the tone for the rest of the session and alerts your counselor to things you may need to talk about.
Communication
Communication is key to any marriage, although it may have deteriorated over time. A marriage counseling session will often have a portion of the session dedicated to learning how to effectively communicate with your spouse. He may ask you questions to answer with each other, or have you communicate things you appreciate and things that you don't like about your spouse. During this portion, you and your spouse will be heading most of the discussion.
Separate Sessions
The marriage counselor may ask you to come into her office separately, to have mini-sessions where she speaks to the one spouse privately. Not only does this give her the chance to know more, but spouses may feel more comfortable talking about certain problems if the other spouse is not present. The counselor can then present those problems to the other spouse in a private session.
Homework
As the session nears its end, your counselor may ask you to complete homework as a couple. He may ask you to do something easy, like holding hands for 10 minutes. But he may also ask you to complete challenging tasks, like having a discussion about a sensitive subject. Both of the spouses should take the homework assignment seriously, as it will help lead the way to healthy habits that will be sustained even after counseling ends.
Other Appointments
When your session is over, depending on your progress, the marriage counselor will suggest follow-up sessions. Usually sessions are done weekly, but as your marriage improves, she may choose to space the sessions out further. The Mayo Clinic reminds you that marriage counseling is a short-term solution. Once your marriage has been repaired, you can stop going, but you'll need to continue the exercises and communication skills you've learned there.
