Parenting a child with ADHD presents challenges, frustration, annoyance and anger. Your child will not listen. She does not follow directions. He will not sit still. It is as if she runs the home.
ADHD, as one of the most commonly diagnosed childhood disorders according to the National Institute of Mental Health, displays symptoms that include lack of focus, impulsivity, fidgeting, daydreaming and hyperactivity. Parenting skills must match the needs of your ADHD child in order to help him maximize his potential.
Attitude
Successful parenting of a child with ADHD depends in large part on your attitude. Because children with ADHD look so normal, it is easy to forget that their brain has a dysfunction. To help them become self-sufficient and successful, they need parents with an attitude of care and support. At the same time, children with ADHD require consistency and containment. Think of your parenting attitude as one of gentle guidance, wrapped within a wall of firm boundaries.
Communication
Because children with ADHD struggle to focus, use short, concise directions rather than a long list of things he needs to do. Before you give directions, touch him on the arm or shoulder and look him in the eye. After giving him directions, ask him to repeat the directions back to you. That way you know he heard you, and it helps him to record the information in his short-term memory.
Balanced Lifestyle
Children diagnosed with ADHD require a balance between activities, quiet time, enough sleep and healthy food. Work with your ADHD child to create routines and schedules that help her function to the best of her ability. In addition, incorporate opportunities to expend energy. Sports, hiking, swimming and skating will burn off some of your child's excess energy and help her focus.
Time Management
ADHD affects the ability to plan and organize. Help your child create a homework plan. Have her put out her clothes the night before. Decide one regular place to do homework. Create a daily plan with your child's help. Post it in several locations to help him remember what he is supposed to be doing and what comes next.
Positive Consequences
Parenting a child with ADHD requires a focus on the positive. Catch him doing things right and compliment him or rub his back. Notice that he put his book bag away without a reminder and give him a hug. The positive reinforcement encourages him to replace forgetful, negative choices with thoughtful, appropriate choices.
Negative Consequences
Even though ADHD is a brain disorder, it need not be an excuse for careless or mean behaviors. Intentional misbehavior requires a negative consequence. Whenever possible, connect the consequence to the poor behavior. If your daughter breaks a toy of her brother's, she needs to do one of his chores. If your son uses inappropriate language, he should write an apology note.
References
- CDC.gov: ADHD Treatment
- HelpGuide.org: Parenting Children with ADD / ADHD
- "Parenting Children With ADHD: 10 Lessons That Medicine Cannot Teach;" Vincent J. Monastra, Ph.D.;" 2004
