Parenting skills for noncustodial parents include additional skills that may not be required by custodial parents. Noncustodial parents typically keep their children for a specified but limited amount of time each month. Regardless of the amount of time a noncustodial parent has with his children, it is less time than the custodial parent has. The short time a noncustodial parent spends with his children magnifies the importance of his parenting skills.
Communication Skills
Communication skills are important for all parents, but for noncustodial parents, communication skills have a heightened importance. There is less time to catch up with the activities the child has participated in since the last visit. Children may clam up, and it can take time to get them to open up and talk about their feelings, aspirations and fears. Noncustodial parents also have less time to get their parenting points across to the child, such as any moral lessons they wish to impart. Communication skills can also help coordinate parenting duties and activities with the custodial parent.
Growth
Noncustodial parents also have less time to expand their children's horizons. Children are naturally curious, and parents can support this curiosity by exposing them to new situations and new worlds. For example, taking the child to a zoo will expose the child to animals that the child has never seen. Noncustodial parents have less time to help their children understand the breadth of the world, and the skills required for this include the ability to understand the maturity level of the child and to explore the world together.
Emotional Skills
Noncustodial parents may need to exhibit emotional skills in different ways. In dealing with the custodial parent, for example, there can be disagreements and high emotional levels. This can occur just before visitation of the child. For the sake of the child, a noncustodial parent must rein in emotions, switch gears and go into parenting mode. A child's behavior can also trigger raised emotions. Although it's all right for a child to see the emotional reactions of a parent, it requires skill to understand which ones should be disguised or hidden from the child.
Patience
Every parent needs patience, but a noncustodial parent may require additional patience because of the time spent apart from her child. A noncustodial parent has to understand that the opportunity to parent the child in person is limited, but the time together can be made meaningful.
Discipline
Disciplining his child can be tricky for a noncustodial parent because the child knows a return to the custodial parent is just around the corner. Discipline can be applied by taking privileges away from the child. Progressively greater privileges should be taken away for successive transgressions. Noncustodial parents should watch for children trying to manipulate discipline techniques by comparing those from the noncustodial parent to the custodial parent.
References
- "The Practical Guide to Weekend Parenting;" Doug Hewitt; 2006
- "The Joyous Gift of Grandparenting;" Doug and Robin Hewitt; 2008
- WomensDivorce.com: Coping as a Non-Custodial Parent
