Bipolar disorder is a serious mental illness that, if uncontrolled, can cause huge swings in moods from severely depressed to crazily manic. With medication the disorder can be controlled and the mood swings can be evened out. However, when beginning a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder you need to understand how important treatment is, and that this disorder is an illness--not a character flaw. If you can handle the unique aspects of this disorder in a partner, you'll be able to have a relationship.
Step 1
Educate yourself about bipolar disorder. The National Alliance on Mental Illness offers a Family to Family class that has people with serious mental illness and their families teach other families about the issues of loving someone with many mental illnesses. "Bipolar Disorder for Dummies," by physician Candida Fink with Joe Kraynak, gives valuable information about the disorder, as well as how to identify the onset of a mood swing.
Step 2
Discuss the disorder with your partner. With medication and therapy, people with bipolar disorder can lead very normal lives, so it's important for you to know that your partner is participating in his recovery. However, it's important to note that some people with bipolar disorder dislike the side effects of the medications prescribed and will stop taking them, which usually causes an episode of illness. The medications will cause some side effects, including sexual side effects such as impotence, and any side effects that will affect the relationship should be discussed as soon as it is appropriate in the relationship.
Step 3
Remember that this relationship should be about much more than your partner's mental illness, in the same way that high blood pressure or diabetes would not define the relationship. While it's important that you understand your partner's illness, you should enter into a relationship for the traditional reasons people get involved: common interests, chemistry and friendship.
Step 4
Be willing to be a partner in your boyfriend's recovery. According to experts at the Mayo Clinic, it's important that family and friends be supportive of the treatment protocol, including attending therapy sessions if necessary. Knowing that you're on board with the treatment will let you boyfriend understand that you don't believe there is a negative stigma associated with bipolar disorder.
Tips and Warnings
- Remember to take care of yourself if you're supporting a loved one through a manic or depressive episode.
- If your boyfriend is clearly becoming more depressed or manic, do not hesitate to help him seek treatment. Although there is no cure for bipolar disorder, early treatment has the best chance for success.
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