Children vary in their maturity levels and age and can have different needs when it comes to coping with the death of a loved one. It can be especially difficult to help a child adjust and cope when the parents and other adults are grieving. The topic of death can be taboo in some families and cultures, so when a loved one dies, children can be unprepared to deal with the situation. However, there are ways in which children can be helped when a loved one dies.
Significance
Infants can't understand the significance of the fact that a loved one has died, according to the University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension. Preschoolers may have a vague understanding of death, and they may have a growing curiosity about it. They may believe that death is a temporary condition and can be reversed. For children aged six to nine, the significance and finality of death becomes clearer. They may be afraid to talk about the subject. Children aged 10 and up have a clearer understanding of the significance of death, but they may believe that it only happens to people who are old.
Considerations
According to KidsHealth, the death of a loved one should be explained to a child in terms that a child can understand. Questions should be encouraged and can help a parent or caregiver understand the depth to which a child comprehends the loved one's death. During the conversation, an atmosphere of openness and comfort may help children to cope. Children's perceptions about death are shaped in part by their parents' reactions.
Potential
Rituals such as funerals can help children as well as adults deal with the death of a loved one. The death may also offer an opportunity to parents and caregivers to talk about spirituality and religion. During the funeral, a caregiver's availability can help a child deal with any unexpected emotions. Prayer and looking at old photographs can also help a child, as well as parents, to deal with the death.
Effects
There are signs that a child needs attention as a result of the death of a loved one, according to Hospice. Signs include a noticeable decline in school performance, hyperactivity, persistent nightmares, illegal activity, panic attacks, long absences of emotions and social withdrawal.
Approach
According to Hospice, a straightforward approach is best when explaining the death of a loved one to a child. Simple, honest language about what happened will help a child to understand. Avoiding euphemisms such as "kicking the bucket" will help a child understand what happened more clearly.
