Every married man and woman have a love-hate relationship with their mothers-in-law. Sometimes it can be humorous as the mother-in-law may do things that just make her look ridiculous to the entire family. Sometimes, the family may simply have differences of opinions, and nobody comes away looking ridiculous. Whatever happens, there are cases in which mothers-in-law take it too far and become bullies. Breaking up their child's marriage, physically abusing their child's spouse or attempting to kidnap the grandchildren are all tactics used by extreme mother-in-law bullies.
Step 1
Speak with your spouse about the problem. Sometimes he or she may not realize what is going on or how badly it is affecting you. If the mother-in-law truly cares, then she will listen to reason when her child speaks to her about the situation.
Step 2
Discuss the problem with your mother in law. Make sure your spouse is present for trust issues. Some mother-in-law bullies will twist what is said to alienate your spouse. This lets her know that your spouse is not siding with anyone, and that you will not tolerate her behavior.
Step 3
Show your mother-in-law kindness. The saying "kill 'em with kindness" really does work. Her bullying is a way to gain control while making you lose your control. Show her that no matter what she does, you are not fazed, and she will soon exhaust herself.
Step 4
Distance yourself from your mother-in-law. In the event that things get really out of hand and her bullying becomes physically dangerous to you or your family, keeping away from her may be best. Bullying of any nature indicates a personality disorder that needs to be remedied by psychiatric care.
Step 5
Stand your ground with all personal issues in your marriage and home. Do not back down from a bullying mother-in-law. You should cook and clean on your schedule, raise your children how you want to, and conduct your marriage the way you and your spouse find best. Your mother-in-law has no say in these matters and once she sees that she cannot tell you what to do, then she will most likely back down.
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