Jealousy can manifest itself in a number of forms in a relationship, such as feelings of discontent with your significant others' friendships with the opposite sex, concern over your partner's relationship with an ex or another jealousy-inducing situation. Jealousy can be a healthy emotion: It can give you a dose of skepticism that keeps you aware of any situations that could occur in your relationship. However, when it begins to interfere with your ability to have a healthy relationship with your partner, it's time to take action against this emotion.
Step 1
Consider your behavior. What specific things does your partner do that incite jealousy in you? Do you have any real proof these actions could be putting your relationship in danger. If the answer is no, and your behavior only seems to worsen your relationship situation, it could be time for a reality check and a commitment on your part to put an end to such behavior.
Step 2
Ask your significant other about the behavior that seems to make you feel jealous. Be honest with him, and say "When you do X, it makes me feel angry, sad and jealous." You should say this in a non-threatening way, as something you are personally trying to overcome.
Step 3
Consider the other side. Why might your partner be acting this way toward another thing or person? Is there a logical or polite explanation as to why this behavior is occurring? Often you tend to only see your side, not that of your significant other.
Step 4
Work to build trust in your relationship. While this may not directly affect your feelings of jealousy, doing things that show trust, such as telling a secret or showing honesty toward your partner, will help her to reciprocate. A partner you can trust often is not one of whom you are jealous.
Step 5
Identify triggers that cause you to develop these emotions and avoid them whenever possible. For example, if going to a restaurant where your partner used to go with an ex makes you feel jealous, find a new restaurant--there's no need to bring up these old emotions.
Step 6
Seek professional psychiatric help, which can aid in your efforts to overcome your jealousy. Sometimes an impartial third party can help you to see the situation more clearly and identify behaviors that may be illogical. A counselor may provide you with healthy coping mechanisms to relieve jealous feelings.
Tips and Warnings
- When feelings of jealousy begin to set in, use a mantra such as "I trust X" or "X loves me and wants to be in the relationship as much as I do." Using this positive self-talk can be a soothing way to overcome jealousy.
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