How To Overcome Jealousy Within Friendships

Friendship requires a significant investment of emotion, the So Feminine Health & Fitness website states. Sometimes the positive emotions that bond friends can morph into jealousy, especially if either person has any personal insecurities. Insecure feelings can lead her to interpret any distance as rejection, even if there is no real threat. Jealousy will be aimed at whatever is taking the other person's time. Fortunately, it can be overcome if you recognize it and are willing to make the effort.

Step 1

Identify the exact source of the jealousy. It may be a person, like another friend or love interest, who is taking up a lot of your friend's time. It can also be an object or situation, according to So Feminine. For example, you might be jealous of your friend's flattering new hair style that is getting her a lot of attention or her latest promotion at work.

Step 2

Ask yourself what the situation is telling you, So Feminine recommends. Jealousy is usually caused by an insecurity on the jealous person's part. For example, you may be upset that your friend is spending time with others because you don't feel entirely worthy of the friendship. You may envy her job success because you feel you should be farther along in your own career.

Step 3

Separate the source of your jealousy from the friendship by using a cognitive thought stopping technique. Imagine a mental signal when you start to feel jealous. Mike Miller, Ph.D., of 1therapyplace.com, recommends picturing a large stop sign or red traffic light. Tell yourself, "The jealousy has nothing to do with my friendship. It is related to my own insecurity." Then imagine the negative feeling drifting away as you release it.

Step 4

Work on the underlying cause of the jealousy. Do some journaling, read self-help books or see a counselor if you can't work through the problem on your own.

Tips and Warnings

Most people view jealousy as a negative thing, but So Feminine advises looking at it as a positive opportunity for self growth. Take it as a sign that you need to do some work on yourself instead of fighting or repressing it.