Helping children to build confidence in themselves is a job that helps prepare children for their future. "Strong self-confidence gives a child the internal resilience and resources to cope and adapt in the world," says Dr. Liza Bonin, clinical psychologist for Texas Children's Hospital's Learning Support Center.
A strong sense of self-confidence not only helps children face the day-to-day challenges of school and social activities, but also allows them to meet future challenges head-on. A child with strong self-confidence is not arrogant but has a belief that she has valuable abilities and will be accepted and appreciated by others.
Step 1
Respond positively. Listen to and ask questions of your child. Affirm her ideas and choices. Let her know you respect and appreciate her contributions.
Step 2
Don't rely on praise alone. Overenthusiastic and repeated praise based on performance may actually result in children feeling less self-confident since they depend on their parents to judge their abilities. Instead, recognize your child's effort and let him know that you notice how hard he is working to do a good job.
Step 3
Give responsibilities. By giving your child age-appropriate responsibilities, you show your child that you believe she can provide a valuable contribution to her family. According to AskDrSears.com, "One of the main ways children develop self-confidence and internalize values is through helping maintain the family living area, inside and out." If the jobs are age appropriate and realistic for a child's abilities, she learns to feel good about the job she is doing.
Step 4
Set your child up to succeed. Don't expect your child to excel in everything. Be realistic about his abilities and find a balance between challenging him and stepping back and letting the him take the lead. Parents who know their children and their talents and interests "can be more realistic about children's abilities and their expectations. A match between what parents expect of their children and what children can really do is critical for encouraging children's success and self-confidence." (see Reference 3)
Step 5
Allow for mistakes and sometimes failure. Children will make mistakes. Children will not succeed at everything they try. Children and adults who have self-confidence will learn from their failures and still be willing to try something new. Parents often want to protect their children from hurt and mistakes. However, children who are allowed to fail in a loving environment can learn not to fear mistakes and will be more confident to try again.
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