Your confidence can be shaken by a number of factors--from job stress to relationship loss to goal failure. When confidence fails, it becomes more difficult for you to keep going, and your life's events become a self-fulfilling prophecy. While obstacles are a normal part of life, situations that shake your confidence should be quickly addressed so you can overcome the hurdle and keep working toward your goals.
Step 1
Learn to be grateful. When you are in crisis, it might seem that nothing is working. A good way to get out of the rut is to make a list of the things you are good at or thankful for. This can include your ability to draw, your job or your photographic memory. By focusing on the positive, the events or feelings that cause the crisis will move on to a secondary plane.
Step 2
Use affirmations. Find five to 10 phrases that you find inspiring or write your own using simple sentences like "I am capable of learning every day" or "I am not afraid of trying something new." Print them out and tape them to your mirror, refrigerator door or computer monitor. Repeat them to yourself throughout the day. Use a confident tone of voice, even if, at first, it feels like you are lying to yourself.
Step 3
Evaluate your relationships and decide whether they are helping you grow or slowing you down. Toxic relationships, where you feel belittled or pushed around all the time, only worsen your self-confidence and can lead to an endless cycle of failure. Minimize your contact with these people or find ways to let them know you do not appreciate their negativity. Surround yourself with positive people who energize you and make you feel confident in your own abilities.
Step 4
Tell yourself that this is temporary. Repeat it over and over, or write it down so you can see when you start feeling desperate. Try to remember times when you were successful, triumphed against the odds or obtained something that you thought was impossible. Reminding yourself that winning is possible may make it easier to believe it again.
Step 5
Keep a journal of your everyday feelings. If you feel defeated or lack confidence, writing your feelings down might help you better understand the reasons behind them. Sometimes what you think is a complete crisis of confidence is actually self doubt in just one aspect of your life (work or family, for example). Keeping a journal will also help you understand what triggers those feelings so you can better deal with them.
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