The U.S. Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA) defines bullying as "aggressive behavior that is intentional and involves an imbalance of power or strength." Whether it's in the form of physical aggression or verbal abuse, it takes a serious toll on the victims. The HRSA reports that 15 to 25 percent of all students are bullied with some frequency, yet fewer than half of the children being bullied talk to an adult, making this a bigger problem than most adults realize. Because bullies choose victims who are less likely--or able--to stand-up to them, these children need help to stop the bullying.
Step 1
Teach your children about bullying. Make them aware of its many forms, from passive and verbal to physical and aggressive. Teach them how to respond. Tell them to avoid or ignore the bully, walk or run away or stand up to the bully and tell him "no," but don't encourage them to engage in violence and show any feelings. Use the HRSA slogan "Get a buddy...be a buddy" because being with others usually keeps bullies away. Most importantly, tell your children to talk to an adult. Assure them that they do not have to deal with the problem alone.
Step 2
Facilitate communication. It's not enough to just tell children to talk to an adult; adults must be accessible, truly listen and take steps that appropriately respect a child's abilities. Do not assume any attitude or behavior that may discourage communication. Set an example by not allowing any form of bullying or disrespect at home between siblings or adults. Never take the attitude that "kids will be kids" or otherwise dismiss the issue. Make it clear that your children should never put up with any type of bullying, and they should expect all the adults in their life to help.
Step 3
Develop and participate in community programs. The most effective way to stop bullying is to make it a community endeavor. Discover which policies and programs are in place in the schools. If your children's school does not have a program, work with administrators and teachers to create one. Make sure that the school policies are adequate and proactive. All teachers should be trained to deal with bullying. Schools should have prompt intervention and administer consistent consequences for bullying. As the HRSA states, "bullying prevention requires buy-in from teachers, parents and administrators."
Step 4
Set and enforce standard rules. According to the HRSA, the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program recommends establishing four rules: "We will not bully others," "We will try to help students who are bullied," "We will make it a point to include students who are left out," and "If we know someone is being bullied, we will tell an adult at school and at home." It is important for children to be taught to step-in if they see someone being bullied, and adults must take an active role. James Lehman, MSW states, "We need to create a culture of accountability."
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