Making the decision to become a surrogate mother can be a life-changing choice for women. Couples who don't have the ability to have children may choose surrogacy as a means to becoming parents, and a surrogate mother is the instrument to their having a family. The best way to become a surrogate is to make sure that everything is done legally and with contracts. Contracts safeguard all of the parties involved; adoptive parents, child and surrogate.
With an Agency
Step 1
Choose a third-party agency to assist you in your quest to become a surrogate. Using an agency helps you spell out the terms and conditions first, and protects your expectations and safety (see Resources).
Step 2
Choose the type of surrogate that you'd like to be. The traditional surrogate is artificially inseminated with her own egg, and the resulting child is then given to the parents in an adoption-like agreement. A genetic surrogacy uses the egg and sperm of the couple sponsoring the surrogacy, so while you carry the child, you are not genetically related to it. Some surrogate mothers find the latter type of surrogacy easier, with fewer emotional attachments.
Step 3
Undergo extensive physical and psychological testing with your agency to ensure that you are healthy enough in mind and body to undergo the surrogacy procedure. You'll need to be healthy enough to carry a baby, without past medical problems and have a healthy attitude toward to experience to qualify to be a surrogate. You may also be tested and asked about your educational background, age and ethnicity, simply for the prospective parents' knowledge; they may request a specific age range for a surrogate or a specific educational level.
Step 4
Review a contract and set forth your own expectations and requirements regarding care, compensation and insurance. Make sure any contract details who will be responsible for the child's care should issues arise during the pregnancy or birth. Most agencies have protocol to follow when it comes to these items, with most surrogates being compensated between $25,000 to $35,000 per surrogacy, according to BecomeASurrogateMom.com. If you are completing the surrogacy independently, negotiate the terms directly with the couple for whom you choose to become a surrogate.
Step 5
Choose a couple. Agencies allow you to view the profiles and pictures of couples who would like to have a baby via surrogacy. You can choose one based on their living situation, profession or location. Know that with surrogacy, you will very likely not see the child once you've delivered the baby. Some agencies complete the matching process for you, and you simply need to approve the selection, states the Center for Surrogate Parenting.
Step 6
Maintain a relationship with the couple throughout the pregnancy. Because the couple is typically paying for your health care throughout the pregnancy, most agencies require that you allow parents to see the ultrasound results and keep the couple up to date on any progression throughout the pregnancy. It can also help them feel more connected to their baby as you carry it to term.
Independant Surrogacy
Step 1
Choose the type of surrogate that you'd like to be. The traditional surrogate is artificially inseminated with her own egg, and the resulting child is then given to the parents in an adoption-like agreement. A genetic surrogacy uses the egg and sperm of the couple sponsoring the surrogacy, so while you carry the child, you are not genetically related to it. Some surrogate mothers find the latter type of surrogacy easier, with fewer emotional attachments.
Step 2
Create a contract on your own for independent surrogacy. Detail the amount of compensation, medical coverage and the couple's level of involvement during the pregnancy. Outline if you will have contact with the baby after it is born and who will be responsible for the child's care should issues arise during the pregnancy or birth. Make the contract as detailed as possible, so that any questions that the couple may have are explicitly answered within the contract.
Step 3
See your doctor for a full physical exam so that you know you are healthy enough to be a surrogate. Even in an independent surrogacy, a couple want to know that their developing baby is safe in your charge. Have your doctor give you a full written physical report that you can give to the parents as proof that you are physically fit to have a child.
Step 4
Choose a couple to become a surrogate for by placing an advertisement with a registry, trying word of mouth or becoming a surrogate for a family member or friend that you know is struggling with fertility. With an independent surrogacy, you choose for whom you want to be surrogate, without dealing with the selection process for an agency.
Step 5
Set boundaries with the couple throughout the pregnancy. They may want to be kept up to date on the pregnancy, and if so, this will need to be set forth in the terms of the contract.
