Parents of handicapped children know how shocking the initial diagnosis is. Many wonder if they can successfully parent a handicapped child, and how their lives will change. Almost all will tell you that after the initial shock, the raising of their handicapped child cames almost as naturally as any parent raising a nondisabled child. While a certain degree of effort, work and tears is put into raising a disabled child, you'll receive a degree of joy, satisfaction and happiness from the handicapped child in your life.
Step 1
Remove all expectations that you previously had about yourself as a parent and what kind of children you would have. Brigham Young University Counseling and Psychology professor Marlene Williams advises that while many people grow up dreaming about their families, finding out that you will have a handicapped child can shatter those dreams and leave you feeling upset, sad or even angry. Remembering that your handicapped child is an individual can help you as you raise him to be the most fully functioning person possible.
Step 2
Complete all of the research you can on her condition. As the parent of a handicapped child, you become her advocate to the outside world. Many will be curious about her condition, and you have an opportunity to educate them so that your child can be raised in a more aware and tolerant society.
Step 3
Partner with your child's doctor and maintain a good relationship with him so that you can work together in answering questions about child-rearing and progression of illnesses, and have blunt conversations about the future. You may find that your doctor is a great source of support and education so that you know how to properly deal with the day-to-day struggles of caring for a handicapped child.
Step 4
Avoid being too protective of your handicapped child. While you will instinctively want to shield and protect him from society, misconceptions, heartache and pain, these are things that he will have to face for the rest of his life. Instead, teach him how to deal with those feelings by communicating with others, and he will be able to one day face those challenges on his own.
Step 5
Develop a thick skin when it comes to the comments of others. If you become angry each time someone says something insensitive or judges you as a parent, your handicapped child will sense that anger and even perceive that she has caused it. Denise Brodey, author of "The Elephant in the Playroom," notes to instead surround your child with supportive friends and family members who understand her needs and can keep her happy and healthy.
References
- Marlene Williams: Raising a Child with a Disability
- Raising a Handicapped Child: A Helpful Guide for Parents of the Physically Disabled: Charlotte E. Thompson, 1999
- CBS News: Raising A Disabled Child
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