Potty training is one of the last major milestones before your child starts school. For some parents, it's a breeze, but for others, stubborn children have them at their wits' end. If your child won't take to potty training it could be caused by fears, bad associations or just bad timing. Re-evaluating your methods and your child's maturity level can help make a smoother potty transition.
Pick the Right Time
Gauge your child's readiness and maturity. According to the University of Michigan, the average age to potty train is 29 months for girls and 31 months for boys, but these are just averages. Many children learn as early as 18 months or as late as 40 months. If your child isn't ready and you try to force potty training, you'll make it a negative experience that takes longer to master. The American Academy of Pediatrics offers a list of signs that your child is ready to start potty training (see aap.org)
Participate in Clean-up
Have your child participate in accident clean-up activities. This makes your child take responsibility for her own accidents. Be sure to approach this in a positive light with plenty of praise but make sure your child understands that if she has an accident she will need to help clean it up. This can be started before potty training by allowing your child to help with her own diapering process.
Get Rid of Diapers
According to Michigan State University, diapers are so advanced and effective that they can prevent your child from feeling wet and knowing when he's had an accident. Children who have an accident in regular underwear will not only notice, but feel the uncomfortable sensation of wetness. This uncomfortable feeling can help reinforce that it's now better to use the potty.
Avoid Discipline
Kids don't participate in activities they don't enjoy. According to the University of Missouri, scolding, reprimanding, yelling or punishing kids for having accidents teaches them to have negative associations with the potty process. If your child is being stubborn about potty training, examine how you've been handling accidents and approaching potty time.
Uncover Fears
Many children are stubborn about potty training for simple reasons, like fear. According to Michigan State University, loud flushing sounds may have scared your child away from the potty. If you're trying to have him use the grown-up potty, he might be afraid that he will fall in or get flushed. He may also associate potty training with a fear of no longer being your baby. Assure him that potty training is a safe, happy time and that you're very proud of him. Try alleviating fears by getting him his own toddler-sized potty and moving it out of the big, scary bathroom.
