Do you ever get the feeling that you're not being understood? Do you get confused or overwhelmed when you have to talk to other people? Having a conversation seems like it should be the simplest thing in the world, but it's easy to get nervous and forget an important point or blurt out something you didn't really mean to. Preparation is the key to learning to communicate effectively.
Step 1
Think about what you want to say before you say it. Make a list of important points you want to discuss, and write them down on an index card if you think you might forget. Try to anticipate possible questions, objections or criticisms, and prepare your responses.
Step 2
Be precise with your vocabulary, and make sure you know the meaning of unfamiliar words before you use them. Make a mental list of key words you want to use.
Step 3
Consider your audience. If, for instance, you need to tell people you lost your job, you'll want to use a different tone of voice and different words when you're talking to your spouse, child, friend or former co-worker.
Step 4
Listen to the other person, and make it clear that you respect her point of view. However, if she says something that deeply offends you---a racist or homophobic comment, for example---don't be afraid to politely end the conversation and walk away.
Step 5
Demonstrate that you are listening to the other person by offering your interpretation of what he just said: "It sounds like you're a little nervous about moving to California." This gives the other person an opportunity to expand on his position. Ask questions if you need clarification.
Step 6
Stand up for what you believe in. Be true to your principles on big issues, but be prepared to compromise for smaller problems. If it's important to you to spend your vacation time visiting your family, say so, but offer to spend the winter holidays with your spouse's family.
Step 7
Exhibit positive body language. Face the other person, maintain eye contact and nod affirmatively after she makes a statement. Do not cross your arms in front of you or lean away from the person.
Step 8
Practice your verbal communication skills every day. Talk to your spouse, your children, your coworkers, other passengers on the bus or the person behind you in line at the grocery store. The more practice you have now, the less nervous you'll be when you have to initiate an important conversation later.
Things You'll Need
- Index cards
Member Comments