At such a young age, toddlers don't understand much about death and dying, says the National Association of School Psychologists. They understand that someone is gone, and that the rest of the adults are sad. Because of their primitive knowledge of death, when they lose a parent you should take care to not overload them with too much information. They'll need comfort and stability more than they need to know the details. Provide a safe environment and answer their questions to handle toddlers after the death of a parent.
Step 1
Provide a familiar environment for him. Taking him out of his home can confuse him and make him feel the sense of loss more acutely. Not only is one of his parents gone, but so are his favorite toys, his bed and all of those things that make him feel comfortable. If possible, keep him at his home instead of sending him to stay with relatives.
Step 2
Surround her with friendly, familiar faces that she knows. Gathering family members can assist in some of the child care and help her to feel secure. She may not know all of the family members, so make sure not to overwhelm or scare her. Having familiar faces around reminds her that she has many people who care for her, says HospiceNet.org.
Step 3
Prepare yourself for some acting out, including regressive behavior. An advanced toddler may regress back to sucking thumbs, throwing tantrums or waking several times during the night because of the loss, says the NASP. You should never scold this behavior; this is her way of showing her hurt, fear and anger toward the situation.
Step 4
Be straightforward with your explanation of what transpired. KidsHealth.org recommends that you avoid using complicated or untruthful terms for death, like "mommy went to sleep," or "daddy went away." These confuse toddlers and set them up to hope that the deceased parent will come back. Give a simple explanation that mommy has died, but she still loves her baby very much.
Step 5
Encourage the child to ask questions and explore her feelings on the subject of death. Adults sometimes suppress this questioning because they are unsure how to answer. Instead, ask how the toddler is feeling about what has happened, and express your interest in helping her to understand. If you still feel awkward answering these questions, a therapist may be a good choice to help the child understand more about death and dying.
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