Losing a loved one is difficult for anyone, but it is especially difficult when young children lose a parent. The loss of a parent in childhood may be the first significant loss experienced by a child, and he will need help processing his feelings as he works through the grief process. Children need the support of all of the adults around them to make it through this emotionally draining time.
Step 1
Address your own need to grieve, understanding that you cannot help the children around you if you do not acknowledge and work through your own feelings. Get help, support and counseling as they are needed.
Step 2
Be honest with the children, while using age-appropriate concepts and language. Avoid using confusing euphemisms. Let the child's questions guide you.
Step 3
Listen. Children need to talk about their feelings and need patient listeners. Understand that children may have trouble expressing themselves.
Step 4
Understand that asking the same questions again and again is a child's way of trying to process concepts and feelings that may be difficult to accept.
Step 5
Be patient. Allow the child to process emotions and feelings at his own pace. Every child is different and will move through the grief process in a different way and time frame. Remain available to the child.
Step 6
Avoid pressuring the child to resume normal activities too quickly.
Step 7
Understand that children who are grieving may experience physical changes that could include constipation, bedwetting, trouble sleeping or eating, requests to sleep with a parent or sibling, asking to be held or rocked, and regressions in their behavior. Grieving children may also misbehave and "act out." These are normal responses to grief, but consult the child's pediatrician if you are concerned.
Tips and Warnings
- If you seek counseling, look for a counselor who has training in grief counseling, especially grief counseling with children if available. Every parent should take the opportunity to teach their children about loss and death before it affects them directly. Even if you have not had that opportunity, prepare your child as much as possible beforehand.
- Children can become depressed. If you are concerned, talk with your child's pediatrician or a trained counselor.
