Whether it's speaking in front of a large audience or establishing a conversation at a party, fear can sometimes make it difficult to be as articulate as you would like. Some people are naturally shy, while others are scared of being embarrassed by mistakes or are worried about not being funny or smart of clear enough. In any case, preparing in advance for a talk can make a world of difference when it comes to overcoming fear of speaking.
Step 1
Let go of the idea of perfection. No speech or conversation is perfect, and no audience expects it. Listeners are there for content, not tone. If you have something of value to share, nobody will care if you make mistakes or aren't as funny as you wish you could be.
Step 2
Organize your material into manageable chunks so you don't feel overwhelmed by the task. Anxiety will diminish if you know what the two or three main points of the speech are and are able to take control over them. Even if you then need to go into details and explanations, having those main points in mind will help you focus and will give you a clear beginning and end for each section. It will also allow you to breathe and take breaks if necessary.
Step 3
Prepare for the speech but don't overdo it. If you keep rehearsing over and over, not only will you grow bored of the material but chances are it will lose all meaning by simple repetition. Take some time to read and practice different scenarios you might encounter during a talk, but take a break after and do something unrelated (like watching TV or going for a walk), so your brain can breathe.
Step 4
Assure yourself that nothing terrible will happen if the speech goes wrong. Look at the speech and the possible outcomes as a way of learning. Whether everybody leaves, participates or seems bored, that will give you the tools to change things so the next speech will be better. Keep telling yourself that even if all that happens, it still won't be the end of the world. Once you understand that the consequences of the speech can never be as dire as you imagine them, your anxiety level will go down.
Step 5
Join Toastmasters International. This organization is all about learning to "become the speaker and leader you want to be." Meetings are held weekly for an hour or two and focus on helping members prepare a speech, overcome anxiety and becoming good communicators. Members provide critiques for each other and follow a series of exercises and speaking assignments contained in the Competent Communication manual used by the organization.
Step 6
Practice the method of anchoring suggested by Toastmasters. Anchoring is the connection between a feeling and an external event or item. For example, you might associate a certain song with being in love or losing a loved one. To create your own anchor, choose a specific action, such as squeezing your fist and as you do it, think about a happy moment in your life. Try to remember the moment in detail, including its smells, sounds and images. Relish the good feeling for a few seconds or a few minutes, as long as necessary for you to really feel the emotion. As you do, keep squeezing your fist. The feeling is now anchored to that action. Before a speech, when you're feeling anxious, simply squeeze your fist until that feel-good emotion comes back and you start to relax.
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