How to Win a Friend Back

How to Win a Friend Back
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Friends drift apart for a variety of reasons. Some simply find they don't have as much in common anymore. Some lose touch after the years. And some stop being friends because of a rift or argument between them. Whatever the reason, if you miss your old friend, you can win him back. The availability of ways to communicate, thanks to technology, makes it easy to extend the olive branch and reconnect with a friend that you may have thought you lost for good.

Step 1

Consider the circumstances that caused you to stop being friends. This can help you determine how to fix the problem. If you lost touch, you can use social networking sites and email to reconnect. If you had an argument, you can consider the cause and whether you can apologize and move on. Not all friend losses are a lost cause. Most can be patched up and the friendship can resume.

Step 2

Contact the friend casually, just to say "hi." That first extension of the olive branch is your first test to see if your friend is ready to make nice and restart the friendship. Use a casual means of contact, like email, a quick phone call or even a text message, so there is less pressure to hash out issues right then and there, according to "Psychology Today."

Step 3

Arrange a date and time to meet formally. There, you can apologize if you need to, or talk things over with a friend who needs to apologize to you. Having this discussion can give you both closure to the problem that has festered. "Canadian Living" warns against meeting when your friendship rests on the other person's ability to apologize. She may feel as if she did nothing wrong, which could drive you farther apart.

Step 4

Give your friend time to process your thoughts and request to become friends again. if the reason you stopped talking was over a major life event, he may need time to think about being friends again. Don't force the issue; you'll find that wounds heal with apologies and time and you can resume your friendship. If he is resistant and bitter, move on with new friends and leave the proverbial ball in his court.

Step 5

Define your friendship as something new. Things will never go back to the way they were, and you should move forward with your friend, becoming better through the things that have transpired. Don't expect things to be the same. Instead, realize that you're both better and more mature people and can have a better and more mature friendship.

References

Article reviewed by DeborahO Last updated on: Aug 17, 2011

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